Pay-up and hush-up

Water was always ah scarce and treasured commodity. When ah was ah youth-man, no house in de village had pipe-borne water. De Villagers collected rain water from the roof and stored it in drums. Dat water was used sparingly, more like a reserve, which meant dat everybody, man woman and child had to get up at 5:00 a.m.{{more}} wid our buckets and pans, making several trips to collect water from de only public, stand-pipe in de village, located next to Percy Bonadie’s gate, approximately 150 yards from my home. When yuh made de last trip, yuh bathe yuh skin under de stand-pipe; yuh think is two times ah just wash me face and go back home, water too cold!

Den alas! in de 1950’s we welcomed de Majorca Water Scheme dat brought pipe-borne water to every home owner who could afford it. Ah remember de day when Matthew Llewellyn and de late Sydney Millington, star plumbers of dat era, fitted de pipes to our home, dat evening ah bathe three times foh revenge. After dat nobody ever got me to carry ah bucket ah water from de stand-pipe again. Back den my Grand-parents paid likcle or nothing foh water, and ah dare say dat even today we paying lickle or next nothing foh water. Yes I agree wid de Awe-position dat de proposed increase in water rates going hit-we-pockets, but when ah check out how much ah paying Vinlec foh electricity plus few-ill charge, LIME foh telephone and Cell phone ‘Top-Up’; cable T.V. and internet; Cooking gas and petrol foh de vehicle, ah realize dat water is de least expensive and CWSA provides de most efficient service, ah not condemning Vinlec, but thru storm and calm, CWSA has been excellent.

Years later, when ah went to Majorca to wuk and saw how and way de water ah drinking come from, ah thank de Lord dat de water is brought to my home and ah don’t have to tek ah bucket and go Majorca, much less down by de stand-pipe at Mr. Bonadie gate to get ah shower.

But lest we forget, in 1984 when Labour announced de introduction ah Water meters to our homes to collect more revenue from water, de den Awe-position, NDP cried fowl and objected and say: “God water Free!” Dat same year NDP took office and one ah de first ting dey did was to introduce de same Water Meters. Just like how ULP did say in 2010 dat NDP proposed Cocoa project is bringing back slavery, now de same Cocoa project is de only new initiative ULP got to offer. Ha!Ha!Haaa! Isn’t dat funny?

PRESS! PRESS! AND MORE PRESS

Every Monday night ah does double task, in between watching TV (‘Baggage’ and ‘Everybody Loves Raymond’) ah does listen to Matthew Thomas and Junior Back-Us on NICE Radio’s ‘Stay Awake’ Call-in program. Dis week de program was Nice. Out ah de blue ah over-heard Matthew say something bout forming some kind ah PRESS! Right away ah call one ah de share-holders ah de Printing PRESS at Camden Park, to tell him de Printing PRESS in serious trouble, Matthew and Junior talking bout another PRESS, so look out foh stiff competition. Soon after dat, madam PRESS-um-shus, Lie-Za call me, she sounded excited when she said: “Ah hope yuh listening to ‘Stay Awake’; dem boys forming another pull-it-to-kill party in SVG. And hear de name dey going call it… PRESS! Ah luv it! Get ah registration form foh me, ah joining dem!” she said. Lie-Za is not easy, she say Arm-in and dem ain’t ready yet, under Ralph is so much Owe-PRESS-shun, she getting de-PRESS-shun, and all NDP doing every week is calling PRESS con-friends. How Matthew is her boy, he was always ah good Dispenser and she PRESS-zoom he got de PRESS-script-shun to de-com-PRESS SVG from dis re-PRESS-shun. But in de same breath she say how she was wid Ralph back in de MNU days and dey did promise to mek she de Elm-PRESS ah SVG, but Ralph joined Labour and dat was de end ah dat; maybe it got PRESS down some-way. But she making sure she will be de first member in de-PRESS, after dat she will PRESS-her-eyes Matthew and Junior to promise her dat when de party tek office she will be de first female PRESS-ident ah SVG. Ah told her bluntly dat ah un-im-PRESS, ah Party can’t form Guv-ah-mint wid three members. Quickly she rebutted and said: “MNU had only three members, Ralph, Matthew and Blazer when Beach gave dem Labour Party as ah PRESS-cent.” She firmly believes dat Matthew still got ah PRESS-script-shun, and he done PRESS-scribe ah dose ah Guerrilla soup foh Ralph and dis so-PRESS-Eve regime!

What more can I say. Both Matthew and Junior are my friends; ah believe dat dey wish to ex-PRESS dey regrets foh going all out in 2001 to destroy de NDP and put ULP into office; so dey feel dis is ex-PRESS-ly dey responsibility to move ULP. We will see. Ah write nonecents last week tellin de Prime Minister not to clime Nick-owe-de-Mas Seek-he-more tree, when it was Zaccheus’ Tree. Well Naomi Prince and she sister Betty Walker, laugh dey belly full at me. Ah was only able to get dem stop when ah sang de Sunday School chorus : “Zacchaeus was ah wee lickle man, And ah wee lickle man was he. He climbed up in a sycamore tree

For the Lord he wanted to see. And as the Lord passed that way He looked up in dat tree, And He said, ‘Zacchaeus, you come down! For ah going to your house foh Tea’! “Ah still think dey believe ah eat me Sunday School Fees. And wid dat, is gone ah gone again. One Love Bassy

Bassy Alexander is a land surveyor, folklorist and social commentator.