Ah still trying to figure out

Pardon me if ah sound like de Kid from Dooms Avenue, but all of ah sudden it beginning to look like SVG is on ah big close down sale! “Ah Still Trying To Figure Out” de closure ah Bottlers.

Ju-C is nostalgic, “Mar-my, buy ah Ju-c foh me” dah’s sixty years ago, about eight ah we lickle youths went caroling; thirsty, we shared one Red Ju-c, our first sip ah de latest drink on de market.{{more}} It might sound stale but “Ah still Trying To Figure Out” de closure ah Food City, gone to ah Cast-Trees Mo-Lotto family, nothing de-rag-ah-tree meant to our St Lucian family; thank de PM foh dat name.

But is his Master Stroke, “Ah Still Trying to Figure Out” when NCB, de Poly-trick-hands Piggy Bank, beerly escaped de close down sin-drone, again sold to de Cast-trees Mo-Lotto family.

How bout Aunt Jobe’s Supermarket, “Ah Still Trying To Figure Out” too, how it appeared to be doing so well, dey opened ah second branch at Arnos Vale, Lie-Za think ah touch ah de Eke-ah-nah-me Flu hit it, she read way de Cast-Trees Mo-Lotto family is also de new (part) owner ah Aunt Jobe, now Super J.

Last Sunday ah just happen to be driving by Sprott’s Building on Bay Street , to witness de close down scene at Church’s Chicken and Mario’s Pizza. In SVG like all over, KFC is de poor man’s kitchen. Ah not proud, but KFC is de family meal pon ah Friday night, so much so dat de ladies at KFC don’t ask me what ah want, dey simply ask: “same as usual”? Dey know my order by heart.

KFC been defying all challenge, Royal Castle came, started big and left soon! But dey was need foh good competition.

Dat’s why “Ah Still Trying To Figure Out” how after Church’s & Mario’s were given ah warm welcome by de junk food generation, obviously hoping dat dey would ah give KFC some well deserved competition wid ah cheaper meal.

Even de spin doctors on de ULP Talk Shows boasted dat Church’s and Mario’s were here as ah result of our booming eke-ah-nah-me. Dey opened wid ah bang, so strong dat like it was sending KFC foh ah close down. Widout given its customers de common quote-to-see, de left town before sun down.

When ah business closes, people are left widout ah wuk, 50 persons are now unemployed as ah result ah Church’s and Mario’s closure, dah could multiply to 200 mouths widout bread. Ah might write wid ah fun-ee style but dis is not fun-ee. Ah notice dis year in particular, in almost every sporting discipline, de name SVG is at de bottom ah de list, what de heck is going on “Ah Still Trying To Figure Out”

AH LICKLE LIGHT IN DE TUNNEL

On ah brighter note, Lie-Za is happy dat Subway had ah good first year and doing well; keep going Ryan! And de tug-owe-war is over, de people won, ah CT scan is now fully installed at de Milton Cato Hospital. Congrats Cess, NOW Go foh de second unit de MRI. And thirdly de pull-it-tek-all Bat’n’Bawl, Cocoa Project duck-yuh-mint has been signed. Lie-Za is skeptical because de very ULP who was saying dat de Cocoa Project was ah step back into de slave men-tell-at-Tea, is de one dat endorsing de project and begging de farmers to come on board de slave ship. “Oh what tangled webs some ah we weave”. My own view is dat we can never go wrong wid Cocoa, Welcome Mr Ah-mah-Jah-rah. And Farmers, organ-eyes as ah group and plant Cocoa.

JUNIOR BACCHUS GAVE TOTAL EYE CARE

Wow! What ah painful blow Dr Junior Bacchus’ death has inflicted pon us. Every way ah tun ah hearing de same tune “Dr Bacchus was ah nice, nice man”.

Unrecon-Eyes foh his service, He held de Fort in SVG foh many years as our only Opthamologist, ensuring free eye public clinic and free surgery foh hundreds ah Vincentians. Tally Browne, ah musician, craftsman, man wid many talents and skill, who was blind from birth, recalls going to Dr Bacchus for treatment, de receptionist collected ah $ 50. 00 consultation fee. During dey conversation, Doc found out dat Tally had paid ah Fee, using some strong language, he immediately instructed his staff, to refund Tally his money, dat was his kind nature. Ah would have said what ah have to say ‘bout Junior in more dan one of my articles. Ah could add he was my Doc foh de last twenty years. And if yuh went to him foh attendance, chances are yuh will den carry yuh gran-mother, yuh mother, yuh wife, all yuh children foh Total Eye Care!

De Angels waiting foh him in Heaven.

BRIAN ASS-ASS-AN-HATE HANDS CHARACTER

Hands King, ah young man whom we admired at Searchlight, now de PM’s press secretary, speaks wid authority and confidence dat borders arrogance at times. Lie-Za say to put dat Hans is no Hanselma, he is all man. At times he has been disrespectful in de way he makes derogatory references to persons who simply differ wid de Guv-ah-mint. One can cents traces ah anger and venom coming out in Hands’ vice, as he refers to educated and intelligent citizens among us as fools, dounce, backward, asses and de likes.

All dat aside, or may-be because we all know dat as Press Secretary, his job is mainly Pull-it-to-kill. Lie-Za say she would have heard lots ah diplomatic four-pah (faux pax), but Hands stole de cake last Monday morning when he called on Too Fool Chris’ popular radio program, to confirm dat over de weekend, he had contemplated killing Brian Alexander foh trying to Ass-Ass-In-Hate his character.

Ah think dey’s still time foh Hands to come back on Too Fool’s Show and apologize to de nation who pays his salary, explain dat what we heard was ah lickle hurt, anger and foolish pride of ah lickle boy dat remains trapped in ah man’s body.

And wid dat is gone ah gone again.

One Love Bassy

Bassy Alexander is a land surveyor, folklorist and social commentator.