Much ado about nothing

All Eye-turn pon de CEO of NCB when he sum-ah-rise de situation at de NCB using de title ah one ah Shakespeare’s funniest comedies “Much ado about nothing”.

Donkey years ago ah studied dat play. What ah remember vaguely was dey was two couples date-in, one couple, Claudio and Hero “madly in love”; and de other Beatrice and Ben-ah-dick, “badly in love”. De night before his wedding Claudio got set up by ah character, Don John, ah liar who loved to pull pranks on people foh kicks. Don took Claudio to see ah girl in de dark wid ah fellar; Don made convinced Claudio dat de girl in ah-dull-tree was his fiancée, Hero tun unfaithful, and Claudio believed.{{more}} At de ceremony next day, just before tying de knot, Claudio, in front all de guests, spread out his girl, Hero and called off de wedding. She collapsed and was pronounced dead, ah fake. De security overheard de lover-boy in Don John’s nasty plot boasting about de set-up, arrested him and got him to make an open confession. Claudio obviously started to grieve foh his actions, Hero’s parents thereafter got him (Claudio) to make an open confession dat his deceased fiancée, Hero was innocent; also dat he would agree to marry Hero’s cousin who looked very much like her. No more setting up by Don John dis time, on de day ah de wedding, when Claudio unveiled his bride to be, Hero’s cousin, Taa-dah-dah-daaah, dey was Hero herself. At de same time de “badly in love” couple, Beatrice and Ben-ah-dick, after sorting out dey problem, made de big announcement, dey were now “madly in love”. Tah-dah-dah Daah! “much ado about nothing”.

Here’s my question, was our Prime Minister simply playing Don John, setting us up when he told us de NCB was in ah much healthier state dan it was nine years ago when he took office? Somehow when de Prime Minister made dat bank statement, we believed. We believed, because we hope in our heart and soul dat it was so. We believed, because we didn’t know dat Guv-ah-mint alone owed de bank one hundred million dollars and was in no position to service de loan. We believed dat if as de CEO says, dat selling de bank was de best option, (he meant foh de bank’s survival) dat de Guv-ah-mint’s share, would be healthier dan forty-one million, ah figure closer to seven hundred million, way we could ah paid off de CDB right away. Yes we believed dat he was not lie-in dis time as he says he does some time. So dat when de CEO says “much ado about nothing”, he could only be talking from ah bank-in perspective, from ah national outlook, we got nothing from our 30 years ole bank wid several branches, one ah de oldest end-ditch-in-us banks in de region. Dat indeed, is “much ado about sum-ting”.

MISS IN-DEEP-AND-DENSE

Ah nominating two young female teachers at de Grammar School foh Miss In-deep-and-dance. Miss Mikalla Knights, Form 1 Pan Music Teacher. First she had dem doing research on any Steel Band from T’n’ T. Ah enjoyed doing dat wid my son. Dat finished, her next assignment is foh each boy to build ah Pan. She gave dem instructions. I would want to bet dat from dis exercise, we should get at least one pan maker. Keep it up Miss Knights. When de PTA met ah few weeks ago, Headmaster Jones presented ah Miss Cadia Woods, just out ah college, as the latest, temporary addition to de staff. She was giving an extra round of applause when Jones announced dat, Miss Woods had agreed to work foh free until she gets something else to do, as de ministry was unable to pay her ah salary. Ah overs dat arrangements have since been made to pay her. True patriot! By de way keep next Say-dey open foh de Grammar School In-deep-and-dense Fair, we raising funds foh ah steel band.

IS JESUS BLACK AND BALD IN TRUTH

Lie-za listened to de P.M’s press con-frenze, she say how he was fascinated when he went into ah church in See-we-yah and saw an artist’s impression of Jesus Christ, and Jesus’ face was Black! Lie-za says de PM was not only fascinated, he was defeated, and dat calls foh ah retraction of ah previous statement he made dat “ George Bush would not recognize Arm-in in de night”. Den she gave me her usual mis-shift look and said to me: “ ah See-we-ran tell me he knows dat picture and not only is Jesus’ face is Black, he has ah bald head too”! Something like dat ah would say: “ much ado about nothing”! And wid dat is gone ah gone again.

One Love Bassy

Bassy Alexander is a land surveyor, folklorist and social commentator.