Ah-Lose

Aloa Vera commonly known as Ah-lose is ah miracle herb, ah cure foh almost every-thing, medical, pull-it-tek-all and otherwise: lowering blood sugar (die-or-be-tease); hair-loss ah sham-poo foh people like Arm-in and weight-loss foh Gonsalves.

Orally, it could be used as ah lacks-ah-thief foh constipation, quite ah lot ah dem candidates pon de pull-it-to-kill platform talking ah lot ah phart, ah sure sign ah constipation, Lie-Za would say dey full ah sh……t!{{more}} Burton foh example, talking bout when he wins he will be satisfying his (NDP) supporters first. Right dey Burton begging foh Ah-lose! And what about Major Seen-Clear on stage, bringing-up ah $250. 00 student gift dat he gave to his opponent Elvis Charles years ago, when he was studying foh his Degree.

Physically, “Ah-lose” is known as de plant of Immortality, hard to dead, like good politicians, Sir Nansi-I and Sir Vin-sin, both close to eighty and still batting, Sir James still scoring and Sir Vin-sin still playing beach cricket wid de coconut bat, his gift from Ralph.

Medically, “Ah-lose” is at its best wid sun-burns and torn flesh, place ah thin slice of “Ah-lose” on de wound or damaged skin and in ah few days, fine! Ah thinking like how all dem pull-it-to-kill candidates, from top to bottom, tearing into each other’s skin, “Ah-lose” will be de only solution foh stopping dem from inflicting such deep wounds. Rene promise to rip V-knee V’s guts apart, pull-it-to-kill-he, V-knee is no he! Our man at de top, de Prime Minister, ah father of daughters, one who cries “Ah-lose” when his children ain’t get total immunity, but he has been no less unkind dan de others. He inflicts wounds wid ah butcher knife, on stage at Calder, live on Radio, calling names as he referred to ah certain lawyer and colleague, who sent “his daughter” to University and he got back ah son. Dis man needs to be reminded dat his-story has proven “Ah-lose” to be de only cure foh such sub-standards.

“When Shelly Clarke was sick and lay in (Hospital) bed, he had his pillows at his head, his wife and kids beside him lay to keep him happy every day!” If yuh know Shelly, he is ah very private person, shy even though he’s in de publicity business. If he wanted de world to know dat he was “sick wid his heart” he would ah publish it in his (NEWS) newspaper. Ah cannot recall in any publication ah de NEWS way any mention was made dat Shelly was sick or hospitalized. But de Prime Minister had de real scoop, dat he kept foh de pull-it-to-kill platform, way he could spread-out Shelly by telling de nation and indeed de die-us-poorer live on Radio, dat when Shelly was in Hospital, he made phone call to his fren Manning in T’n’T to get help foh Shelly: “He was sick wid his hart, he R-right now thank God, he can’t tek pressure.” What hip-hop-we-see! Thank God when nothing else seems to wuk, “Ah-lose” surely will!

At times we become too bitter in dealing wid simple matters, way our words and actions make deep incisive wounds dat not even “Ah-lose” can wuk and only Cats Can!

Ah raising de question why we objecting so vehemently to de Cats Can that was donated to de Milton Cato Hospital by NIS and NCB, being housed by Dr Ambrose’s Caribbean Imaging Centre. Was it not Dr Ambrose’s Cats Can machine we been using all de years? And is it not Dr Ambrose, ah born Vincentian who been giving her service (not foh free) to her country all de years? So what’s de big fuss? So she is Minister Baptiste’s sister, but ah never hear anybody come-plain dat dey went to Dr Ambrose clinic, and she ask deem which pull-it-to-kill party dey belong to. Yes ah hear some come-plain about how Cats Can service expensive. Yes de Hospital compound would be de I-deal place to locate de Cats Can, but way dis bankrupt Guv-ah-mint go find de money to renovate or build ah room to house ah Cats Can? Dey can’t even stop de leaks in de Theatre!

If dey should be any concern, it should be about de arrangements, making sure dat poor people get affordable service promptly. So all who criticize way de Cats Can going, all yuh tek “Ah-lose” foh dis one!

When ever ah want ah total cleanse to get rid ah all hate-Red and spite, and venom-us and poison-us thoughts, ah does blend up ah piece ah “Ah-lose” wid some lemon juice and mek ah drink; bitter like gall, it does send me to de toilet all day, but it wuks. To our pull-it-to-kill candidates ah say, be kind and avoid “Ah-lose”!

Lie-Za must have de last say, she got “Ah-lose” in de porch, “Ah-lose” in de living-room and one in she bedroom, she say dat is she Owe-B-yah. “Interesting,” ah told her, “ but how come Lie-Owe putting up wid all ah dis non-cents”? She smile and said to me: “if wasn’t foh ‘Ah-lose’, ah would ‘Ah-lose’ Lie-owe long time”!

NO MORE SUE-SIDE PLEEEEEESE

On ah sad note. I am de father of ah twelve year ole son and I am aching deep inside foh dat lickle boy who resorted to taking gramoxone foh relief. Love remains de answer, teachers pay more attention to de children’s needs, and fathers, let us give all our love. And wid dat is gone ah gone again.

One Love Bassy

Bassy Alexander is a land surveyor, folklorist and social commentator.