Time to stop dream

Last week Sunday night ah almost did ah ‘round de clock’ listening to de Antigua Calypso Monarch Competition. Just in case yuh ain’t know, de standard ah Calypsos in Antigua is very high, right up dey wid T’n’T. B’dos is No 3 and SVG drop to No 4 in de Caribbean; ah consulted wid the expert Olson “Caribbean Pete” Peters on dis. One ting foh certain dat came out in de Kaisoes on Sunday Night, is dat Antigua is also right up dey wid corruption, on dat scale, again SVG is No 4. Ah will hide behind “ah-ledge” and venture to say dat it seems like corrupt-shun in Antigua under Ball-wind Spin-sir is no different to de Birds.{{more}} Ah hope Hands King de PM Press Secretary tun goatskin law-yah ain’t got no problems wid de way ah use de word “ah-ledge”. Ah check wid three Lawyers and dey tell me yuh could hide pon “ah-ledge” until de truth in de story way yuh “ah-ledge” come out!

But King Zacari, de newly crowned Monarch in Antigua refuse to go out pon “ah-ledge” to hide, he lick dem up wid “Ah Dream” he had, some Dream dat was, all de Liars in Antigua drop dead. When he check wid de Population Census Office nearly de whole ah Antigua passed away! Needless to say de Kaiso got stronger and stronger as he continued to visit de various offices and business places, only to find de buildings M.T. Not surprising when he went to de Church, not ah living soul!

Immediately ah think bout my own SVG because is all kind ah Lie-as we got: Dem way does Lie, full stop! Dem way does Lie and say de don’t Lie! Den we got dem way does Lie, and say dey does Lie at times but not all de time. Ah pray dat ah never dream ah dream like dat. Ah know it would only be ah Dream, but if ever in my sleep ah was to have such ah ex-sight-in experience in won-dah-land, de first place ah heading is Par-Liar-mint, come to tink of it, is only Conrad Say-yes, de one dah does behave like he dead ah-ready, ah might see alive.

From de House ah heading round de Police Barracks, ah know de Commissioner don’t Lie, but ah will still want to check, after all is only ah Dream and ah got to mek de rounds and see as much as ah can foh when ah wake up, Lie-Za will drill me to de point ah Lie-in just to find out who all Drop Dead!

Ah will be reluctant to pass by de Church, foh certain Rev Job will be hugging up de Pope, and de PM will be looking on, ah hope; dah’s if he didn’t go to Par-Liar-mint. All dem people who does come-plane when dey go Hospital Casualty and can’t find ah doctor, dey won’t want to Dream what ah Dream. And good news foh all dem young Law Students at University, lots ah vacancy when dey come back. Me belly cut me when ah check foh me buddy Andrew Cummings and he wasn’t dey, ah was told his office move down to Browne’s Building, and ah would find him dey!

Court House was M.T. but ah met Sir Bruce-Lie alive and well, eh-hey, yuh ever hear “monkey know wha tree foh climb”? Not me and dat man, ah fraid; ah wants no Basa Basa wid Sir Bruce. Ah will tek chances and say No to PR! No to Car-Lie! Missing in act-shun!

Ah believe dat de real reason why Who-go Shove-his didn’t show up, is because he hear dat in SVG somebody might just have ah Dream dat all de Lie-as dem drop dead! However ah hope dat de Journalists and Columnists and Media people in SVG don’t run off in Ah Dream when Shove-his comes here. He needs ah warm and friendly Demon-stray-shun from us in SVG, we must send ah message to all dem Leaders who intend to sue-press freedom of speech. So ah calling on all of us Columnists who write freely in de press weekly, to come out wid our placards, people like Dr Ken John, Dr Fraser, Blazer Williams, Jomo Thomas, Oscar Allen, Casper London, Soboto Caesar, Ann-is-teaser Baptiste, Ada John-son, Olson Peters, Renrick Rose, Patrick Ferrari, did I forget anybody, oh yes De Love Vine!

Ah searched all over foh some people who always in low profile, silently sitting pon de fence, and just couldn’t find dem, is de Newspaper Editors, Clare Keizer, Shelly Clarke and Sip Nehall who tell me dem is de same people who does write “Letter to de Editor” every week in de papers and sign false name, some kind ah nyam de pen. Ah should mention dat shortly after speaking to de Editors, dey too disappeared! Gone!

Ah could never catch Lie-Za, while explaining to her all who drop dead, she tell me dat de reason why ah didn’t see she in de Dream, is because she was right behind, following me playing hide’n’seek in de dark, to mek sure she see foh herself and ah don’t tell she no Lie when ah wake up! Ah dat Lie-Za and wid dat is Time to Stop Dream!. Ah gone again!

One Love Bassy

Bassy Alexander is a land surveyor, folklorist and social commentator.