Ah pair-ah-ducks

Ah will have to tank ah former English teacher ah mine foh my “Bad English”, he did tell us dat dey’s no definite pronunciation to de English. When people biting dey town to say Paradox, simply say Pair-ah-ducks! Ah Pair-ah-ducks is truth dat contradicts itself. One Pair-ah-ducks dat come to mind was when de Kingdom of Babylon was falling apart and de King became disillusioned, de story reads:{{more}} “Behold de crops failed and de Harvest throughout Babylon dat year was poor; de city was besieged and de people cried out loud, and laid blame on de young King for dismissing all of his father’s senior advisors and loyal administrators, replacing dem wid younger, inexperienced men whom he considered more faithful and loyal to his every word. And de young King was greatly troubled and being fearful dat his reign was coming to an end, imprisoned all his advisors.”

In dat story we could replace Babylon wid SVG and de young King wid our Prime Minister and we don’t have to change ah word. It all came out last week in de bashing dat de Prime Minister put pon his loyal subjects and crow-knees at ah meeting held wid his senior ministers and senior public servants. Like de King ah Babylon, he too promoted all ah his loyal and trusted men to high positions in de service, square pegs in round holes, when he say jump dey ask how high and when he say kill, dey say bury. And like in de days ah Babylon, ah lot ah dem were misfits and incompetent and failed to deliver, he saying dat too. De PM said too much when he addressed dem. He accused dem of teefing, mentally lazy, don’t read and incompetent. He chided his senior members of Cabinet and senior members ah de public servant foh not reading his Budget. All ah dat was said in front ah de Media, Radio and Television. Could it be dat our Prime Minister is disillusioned and fearful of losing his kingdom?

But d’s are de very men who during de Budget debate in Par-liar-mint, would get up one after de other praising and congratulating de PM foh ah master piece Budget. And when people call dem fifteen copy books dey does vex.

Lie-Za thinks dat his add-rest to senior public servants and cabinet ministers is one dat he may very well live to regret. She is disappointed dat rather dan take de lickle hints she gives me to forward to him, he prefers to feign obscurity behind Thomas Burke.

BAIL-OUT AGRICULTURE AND FISHING

Earlier dis week, Mr Parris, Clico’s big-man from Bo-bathe-us now Bo-bail-us, flew in here lke JET-PLAY’N hurry-hurry, like ah man on ah mision, delivered his master add-rest to Shareholders and de Media. Mr Parris’ speech is right behind Obama’s inaugural address, almost perfect foh de mission! Dat is another Pair-ah-ducks! Ah giving him eleven marks out ah ten foh con-fee-dense or boast. De extra mark he gets just in case he got to come again to eat his words. On ah more positive note, ah want to big-up Clico foh getting itself Recession-ready foh dis pending economic Soon-ah-me, de struggle now is to stay afloat. Clico’s success is important to us as ah third world people, we need to show dat given de Will, We Can. De major implication, however, is our sixty million dollar NIS investment in Clico. Can yuh imagine wha go happen if Clico goes under, crappo smoke we pensioners pipe.

Interestingly, we hearing nuff talks bout Bail-out hey and Bail-out dey, soon de Guv-ah-mint will be called upon to do its own Bail-out too and dey will find de money. Ah does say to me-self, why don’t we give our Agriculture and Fishing ah serious Bail-out. Imagine in de 2009 Budget of seven hundred million dollars, only one percent goes to Agriculture. Now ah know why de Ministers dem refuse to read or study de Budget. In order to survive dis E-con-ah-mek plague, island states like SVG will have to fight it in de fields and on de seas, plant de right foods and fish wisely. We need ah Bail-out dat will Full-out de homes, de local market and de outside markets wid food and fish.

AH VILLAGE MOTHER PASSES

It takes ah Village of strong women to raise ah child. Growing up in Murray Village, we were blessed wid some great ladies who helped to mould us into man. Louisa “Mamma” Edwards is one; she celebrated her 98th birthday last Sat-dey. Her cousin Beatrice (Edwards) Smith, aka Granny Smith, but before she became Granny we uses to call her Tanty B, well she made ah century and two and lived thru five generations before moving on last week. Ah great pillar of strength in our community, settled family disputes like ah counselor. Dat was ah woman who could ah dress in style, ah think her daughter Christine tek after her, She loved her Met-dis church bad, rain or sun she never missed ah Sunday. Sat-dey night was family night at de movies foh her and Cappo her husband. We couldn’t wait foh dem to leave for us to tek over de kitchen to cook, eat and wash-up pot and wares before dey returned. Somehow ah feel she knew what was going on, but welcome us keeping house till dey returned.

We played cricket on ah strip next to her house, we broke ah lot ah glass panes on dat house, when Cappo would quarrel and seize de ball, she would tell him to give us ah chance, we are just children, and she would tek way de ball and give it back to us. She no doubt felt rewarded when Fred Trimmingham and Pee-Wee Glynn who were among us, went on to play foh SVG. Ah remember her cooking, she cooked ah mean curry, when yuh passing all yuh had to say was: “ Lord, Tanty B, dat smell killing me”. Den she would beckon yuh inside and put ah lickle bit in ah plate foh yuh. People don’t live lke dat anymore. Ah should say people don’t cook like dat anymore. Guess she would have ah lot ah cooking to do up dey foh St Peter. And wid dat ah gone again.

One Love Bassy

Bassy Alexander is a land surveyor, folklorist and social commentator.