Adjusting to life’s transitions and changes

Life is transient and filled with my changes. As we live each day it is mandatory that we mentally prepare ourselves to deal with the changes and challenges of day to day living or run the risk of becoming overwhelmed. Adjusting to change can be difficult, as even positive life transitions tend to cause some stress. Over the course of a lifetime, a person can expect to experience a significant amount of change. Some of these changes, such as marriages, births, and new jobs, are generally positive, although they may be accompanied by their own unique stressors. Other major life transitions, such as moving, retirement, or entering the “empty nest” phase of life may cause a significant amount of stress.

Those who find themselves experiencing difficulty coping with life transitions may find it helpful to speak to a therapist in order to become better able to adjust to changes they cannot control.
Certain changes, such as entering school, starting a new job, or starting a family, can often be exciting, even when they cause some amount of stress, because they are generally considered to be positive changes. Many people look forward to obtaining a degree, rising in their chosen field, or having a home and family.

Changes, and especially difficult changes, can influence personal growth, and dealing with a change successfully may leave one stronger, more confident, and better prepared for what comes next in life. In other words, even those changes that are neither expected nor wanted might still produce some beneficial outcome.

Change can encourage the development of skills or knowledge, and might also bring about greater awareness of a condition or group. For example, the family of a person diagnosed with schizophrenia might become more aware of severe mental health conditions and their effects. Or the parents of a child who comes out as gay might become interested in LGBTQ issues and equal rights and work to increase awareness. Change can also make clear what is important in one’s life and allow for greater self-discovery and self-awareness.

Regardless of what the change may be that we are confronted with, it is pertinent that we are all sufficiently equipped with essential coping mechanisms. The following are some suggestions we can utilize:

• Researching an upcoming change. Often, stress can develop out of fear of what is unknown. When one is well-informed about a change, it may be easier to face.

• Attending to one’s physical and mental health. Being healthy in mind and body may make it easier to cope with changes in life. Sleeping well, exercising, and eating nutritional foods regularly may all be beneficial in improving both physical and mental health.

• Taking time to relax. Remaining calm in spite of stress may be easier when one’s life is well-adjusted and includes time for leisure as well as work.

• Limiting change. It may be helpful to avoid making a large change immediately after another change. Generally, adjusting to a change takes some time, and making multiple changes at once, even smaller ones, may not allow enough time for an adequate adjustment period, which can cause stress.

• Discussing any difficulties adapting with another person. Family members may be able to help one adjust to change, but professional help may also benefit those experiencing difficulty or stress as a result of life changes.

• Write down the positives that have come from this change. Maybe due to this change in your life you have met new people. Maybe you started practicing healthier habits. Maybe you became more politically active. Maybe you became more assertive. Maybe the change helped you prioritize what is most important in your life. Change presents us with the opportunity to grow, and it’s important to acknowledge how things have become better as a result.

• Back away from social media. When you go through change, you may gravitate toward social media — maybe posting to your friends on Facebook what is going on in your life. First, make sure you are in a calm state when you post — and keep in mind that whatever you post never really disappears. Also, if you are comparing your life to your friends’ lives on social media, remember that most people post only the “highlights” of their lives, not the stressful moments. This can give you a skewed view that everyone else’s lives are going just fine. Everyone has battles they are fighting; it’s just different battles with different people. Step away from social media if you are starting to compare your life to others.

“To improve is to change; to be perfect is to change often.” – Winston Churchill