Choosing love daily

Falling in love is something that so many people have experienced but remains a sensation that is almost impossible to put your finger on. Despite endless songs, movies, TV shows, poems, and pretty much every art form, attempts to describe what falling in love is really like, it’s still not exactly clear how you fall in love. What is really meant by the concept “falling in love” really?

Some relationship experts describe falling in love as a lot of feelings, emotions, urges, and sometimes it was described as having the power to totally change your entire brain chemistry. But when you fall in love, when you actually go through the process, is it something that “happens” to you whether you like it or not, or is it something that you’re actively choosing.

When a relationship is new, it is fun and enjoyable courting or being courted. In the beginning, we are constantly thinking about the new person in our life and wanting to spend all our time together and share new experiences together. We want to show how we feel by getting cards or flowers or just sending a cute text message. We see the mirage of social media postings displaying the bliss of love; everyone expecting the fairytale ending.

Feelings, however, can be fleeting. No one seems to want to talk about how those loving feelings can fade, that it takes work to keep the love alive, and that choosing to stay in love is a choice we all must make.

Who we love is as much of a choice as it is a feeling. Staying in love takes a commitment. After the rosy glow of the new relationship wears off, we have to make a decision: Do we want to love this person and commit to a relationship together, or are we going to let this person go? Once we have made the decision that we have found the person we want to be with and commit to, the work begins. A big part of that work is making many other choices.

It is a choice to see the good in our partner every day, rather than focusing on the negative things that bother us. We have to accept them and love them as they are. If we go into a relationship thinking we can change someone, we are setting our relationship and ourselves up to fail. We all have flaws and quirks and are weird in some ways. Accepting those differences is part of love.

We can choose to ignore the petty, irritating small things our partner may do. If our partner forgets to take out the garbage, or leaves the cap off the toothpaste, we can talk about it with them, but we also can accept that this just might be forgetfulness and choose to move on. Trying to change our partner into us is one of the biggest relationship mistakes we can make.

When we are unhappy with how things are in our relationship, it is easy to over-focus on what we are not getting from the relationship. Instead, a healthier response is to see what we could be doing for our partner, rather than focusing on what they are not doing for us. We should always try to be supportive of our partner, because we cannot expect anything from our partner that we are not willing to give ourselves.

Another important choice we can make is to choose to remember the reasons why we committed to this person. Our relationship will not always be pleasant, and there will be times for serious discussions and disagreement. There will be trying times and even bad times that we will need to work through together. The key to surviving these times is to remember to be respectful, acknowledge our commitment, and work through whatever is at hand together. During these times it really helps to remind ourselves of why we chose to love them in the first place.

Love is all about choices. We choose to see the good, ignore the petty, look for what we could do for our partner, and remember why we love our partner. Choosing to put in the effort to do these things is what love looks like, and with that work comes the wonderful reward of staying in love.

Choosing to love your partner every day is a conscious decision that requires intention, effort, and a commitment to nurturing your relationship. Here are some tips to help you make that choice daily:

1. Practice Gratitude

Focus on the Positive: Start each day by thinking about the things you appreciate about your partner—whether it’s their kindness, humour, or the small things they do. This mindset shift can help you feel more connected and loving.

Express Thanks: Take moments throughout the day to thank them for the little and big things they do. A simple “thank you for your support” can make a huge difference.

2. Prioritize Quality Time

Make Time for Each Other: Life can get busy, but it’s important to carve out time for your partner. Whether it’s a date night, a weekend getaway, or even quiet time at home, prioritizing quality time helps keep the connection strong.

Be Present: When you’re together, put away distractions like phones or TV. Focus on truly engaging with one another, whether through conversation, shared activities, or even silence.

3. Communicate Openly and Honestly

Express Your Feelings: Share what’s on your mind, both the good and the difficult. Open communication builds trust and understanding, which are essential for long-term love.

Listen Actively: Listen to your partner’s thoughts and feelings with empathy and an open heart. Sometimes, just being heard is the most loving thing you can do.

4. Show Affection Regularly
Physical Touch: Hold hands, hug, kiss, or simply sit close. These small acts of physical affection can make your partner feel loved and valued.
Affectionate Words: Use loving language—tell your partner how much they mean to you, and don’t shy away from saying “I love you” often. Love is something that needs to be expressed, not assumed.

5. Be Patient and Understanding
Embrace Imperfections: No one is perfect, and love is about accepting each other’s flaws and mistakes. When conflicts arise, choose patience and understanding over frustration or anger.
Give Space When Needed: Sometimes, love means allowing your partner space to grow, reflect, or deal with their emotions independently.

6. Support Their Dreams and Goals
Encourage Their Passions: Take an active interest in your partner’s aspirations, whether personal or professional. Support them in pursuing what makes them happy and fulfilled.

Be Their Biggest Cheerleader: Celebrate their wins and be a comforting presence during challenges. Knowing that you’re there through all of life’s ups and downs strengthens the bond.

7. Choose Forgiveness

Let Go of Grudges: No relationship is free from mistakes. Choose to forgive your partner and allow space for healing. Holding on to past grievances can prevent love from flourishing.

Acknowledge Your Own Faults: Loving your partner also means recognizing when you’re wrong and being willing to apologize and make amends.

8. Keep Romance Alive

Surprise Them: Small romantic gestures, like leaving sweet notes, planning a surprise outing, or just doing something thoughtful, can keep the spark alive.

Continue Dating: Keep the sense of excitement alive by continuing to date each other. The effort you put into maintaining romance will deepen your connection.

9. Be Encouraging During Tough Times

Stay by Their Side: When your partner faces difficult situations, be a source of strength. Offer your support and reassure them that you’re in it together.
Help With Problem-Solving: Offer a helping hand or listen as they work through challenges. A supportive partner can make all the difference when times get tough.

10. Remind Yourself Why You Love Them

Reflect on Your Journey Together: When challenges arise, take a moment to reflect on why you fell in love with your partner in the first place. Revisit shared memories and the qualities you admire in them.

Reconnect with Your Intentions: Remember that love is a choice you make every day. Even on hard days, remind yourself of the reasons you’ve chosen to love your partner and the bond you share.

11. Be Playful and Light-Hearted

Laughter is a Bonding Agent: Playfulness and humour can strengthen your connection. Don’t take life too seriously, laugh together, enjoy silly moments, and allow your relationship to have fun and light-heartedness.
Create Joyful Moments: Create rituals or inside jokes that make your relationship feel fun and unique.

12. Take Care of Yourself

Self-Love Enhances Partnership: To truly love your partner, it’s important to love and care for yourself too. Take time for self-care, pursue your own interests, and maintain your sense of individuality. A healthy relationship is made up of two whole individuals who support each other’s well-being.

13. Grow Together

Adapt and Evolve: As life changes, so does the relationship. Embrace personal growth and be open to evolving together. Love means supporting each other through the seasons of life and growing both individually and as a couple.

By choosing to love daily, you’re investing in a deeper, stronger, and more fulfilling connection with your partner. It’s not about perfection but about consistent, intentional actions that nurture love over time.