I am every woman

“I’m every woman, it’s all in me”, were the words sung by Chaka Khan and Whitney Houston, depending on which version you prefer. The melody is very lovely, and the lyrics are uplifting, until you really listen to them, of course.

“Anything you want done, baby I’ll do it naturally” is in the first verse of the song. It seems like such a harmless comment, doesn’t it? Anything you want, and a woman will do it for you, isn’t it usually true? So, what’s the problem?

Women are expected to be divine creatures near perfection; the perfect therapist. When her man, children or family members have some problem she is expected to give a kind comforting ear. She is expected to remain in toxic relationships, through alcoholism, drug abuse and severe manipulation through depression. You might be thinking “that’s not true, we aren’t entitled to women”. However, ask yourself how many women are berated for abandoning toxic relationships, whether familial or romantic. “She left him when he was at his worst”, or “She abandoned her parents when she knew she came from a poor family”… don’t these statements sound familiar?

Everyday women wake up and find themselves in toxic and exploitive relationships, and yet society expects them to remain in those relationships. Women are never allowed to choose themselves, society always berates them for it. ‘How dare she treat herself like a human being with rights?’, as if women aren’t entitled to happiness and freedom as well as men.

Why must women always endure? Why must they always suffer? If someone tells me because Eve ate the apple I’m going to smack them. Or you might be thinking that it’s because women are nurturing and you’re right, some women are nurturing, but men can be nurturing as well. If we raised men to be nurturing and dependable, all the burden wouldn’t be on women. It never occurs to people that maybe if we just raised men right, then women’s suffering would decrease greatly. That maybe if we raised men to handle their emotions positively, they wouldn’t abuse. That maybe if we taught men to see that women are human beings and not sex objects, they’d rape less. Instead of teaching men to share the load, we try to convince women that they were born to bear it all.

I am not Every Woman! I have limits and I get tired, and that is okay. You don’t have to be everything to everyone. You’re allowed to step away when a situation becomes overbearing, or when someone keeps using you with no reciprocation.
Dear women, you are allowed to be a human being, don’t let anyone convince you otherwise.