Hey Rosie,

My wife’s father is coming to live with us in about two months. He lives in another country. His wife just passed away a few months ago and he hasn’t been doing well since. He is 72, active and very bossy. I can deal with him for small visits, but I am very concerned about him moving into our household and trying to put in his five cents. I don’t want to hurt my wife’s feelings, but I think he should alternate between us and her other siblings that live up here. This will help us all adjust to this huge change. What do you think?

Concerned

Dear Concerned,

I get it, this is a huge transition and you need to have a heart to heart with your wife.
Taking care of our parents in their senior and most vulnerable stages of their lives is something that EVERYONE concerned should have a say in. Your father-in-law, I am sure, may have a lot of apprehension moving in with you and your family, he is giving up a lot of his privacy and independence. I am pretty sure your wife is nervous too.
Be open, be honest, please share your concerns and ideas. Let her know that you want what’s best for her father and also your family. Maybe at some point you can involve the other siblings and even talk about a plan for them to share some of the responsibilities of the care and well-being of your father in law. Your home could be the base, however, everyone can be involved in his comfort and care.
I wish you the best going forward.

Rosie

Send questions to Rosie at: heyrosie24@yahoo.com or PO Box 152, Kingstown,St Vincent & the Grenadines