I am a single mother who is raising her son alone, because my son’s father went to jail. Rosie, he went away for 10-15 for armed robbery. We tried to make it work, but this wasn’t a realistic plan. So I decided to move on, raise my son (who is now 10) and go back to school. I now have a degree, a job that I like and a house. I have a good circle of friends and a great family, but I have always been really scared to get back into the dating scene.
Now I met this guy a year ago when he came to my company and he has always expressed interest in knowing me better. The thing is, I think he’s handsome and a nice guy. We have gone out in a group and I can tell he likes me. He even told our other co-wokers the same thing, but I’m still scared, Rosie. Should I give him a chance? I don’t want a revolving door in my son’s life. His stability is number one. But I think I’m beginning to fall for this guy and I’m afraid he will loose interest.
Afraid to Step
Dear Afraid to Step,
Well I am on my feet and I am applauding you like you wouldn’t believe. Good for you! You took a good long look at your life and turned it around, not only for yourself, but also for your son! Well done! Now let’s grab you before you become Mother Theresa!
I really want the many young women out there to know that they too can do this as well. They can have a slight detour in life, but be focused and come out stronger at the other side of the tunnel. However, it’s time you start dealing with your emotions and what’s preventing you from moving forward in your social and personal life.
Somehow I feel as though you are beating yourself up about your past. Granted your ex-boyfriend made some bad decisions that had nothing to do with you and those were HIS poor choices. You deserve to have your own happiness and that means taking a chance. Nothing is ever promised, we can’t guarantee that a partner will be honorable and true. But the one thing is that we can use our instincts, look at how this person interacts with his family (especially his parents) and friends. If he has a split personality, or does he have a bad temper, drinks or does drugs socially? These are just some tips that you can put on your check list. Then most importantly, how does he treat you? Are you happy to see him? Does he make you smile/laugh? Is he respectful of your opinions? Can you see yourself with him 30 years from now? Look, girl if you have answered yes to most of these questions… run, do not walk and go out on a date with the young man.
Take it slowly, build a friendship first and get to know one another. I agree, do not drag your son into the mix until you are sure that this relationship has a solid future. You are a bright young woman, with a solid head on your shoulders. I suspect that this man sees that and wants to be a part of your future as well. Best of luck and keep me updated.
Send questions to Rosie at: [email protected] or PO Box 152, Kingstown,St Vincent & the Grenadines