Dear Rosie, I had my second child with this guy that I truly didn’t know. By the time I was six months pregnant I realised that we had nothing in common and we broke up. The problem is that I’ve gotten married since then, my daughter is seven years old and loves her dad and her stepdad as well. He’s known her since she was 15 months old and treats her and my first son like his own. My ex is very jealous and causes problems with my husband.

How can I just have some peace and co-parent without this drama?

In The Middle

Dear In The Middle,

I am so sorry to hear about your very sticky predicament. I think you are also going to teach a few women about jumping into the deep end first and perhaps not sticking your toes into the relationship pool to test the “temperature“. it seems you found out that it was “hotter” than what you wanted to deal with.

Well there is no need to cry over spilt milk. Your beautiful daughter is here and obviously is loved by everyone, we just have to manage the emotions when dealing with her well-being.

Have you and your hubby spoken to your ex in terms of certain guidelines and rules when it comes to co-parenting your daughter? I think you may have to have some legal paperwork done regarding having visitation, the dos and don’ts, along with someone who can act as a legal mediator when it comes to those difficult issues that arise from time to time.

Some families need this type of structure in place in order to maintain a respectful approach while co-parenting. The fact that you may not have known him well enough to begin with is irrelevant. You are both connected for life, so finding a workable solution will only make life easier all around. May I also suggest that you keep your husband in the loop, he seems to be a great guy and a wonderful support system for you as well. Good luck!

Rosie