I have a cheap man. He always is nickle and dimming every dollar that we spend. Rosie, we have three young kids under 10, who have everyday needs for school and after school activities. He would fuss about that. So much so I have to beg my mom for extra funds when I need to get something for my kids. Rosie, I have a full-time job, but he wants me to hand over almost all of it to him. He gives me an allowance for gas and maybe an occasional lunch, but I am always broke. He says the man runs the house and I shouldn’t fight him on that fact. Why should I have to ask him for money for my personal hygiene products? This is ridiculous and I want to be a independent woman in a healthy 50-50 relationship. Sometimes I think it would be better if I left and we co-parent. We don’t even have a social life because he’s so cheap!
I want out!
Dear I want out,
What a frustrating position to be in! I understand that finances are a huge part of any relationship, but this seems to be a slight dictatorship.
Breaking up and co-parenting is quite a drastic move as well. I truly feel that you should try to work your money woes out first. Your partner doesn’t seem to realise that there is no “I” in “We”. Without BOTH of you managing your finances it will be extremely difficult to survive.
There should be an equal and respectful conversations between both of you about your financial obligations. You really should be talking about putting money aside for savings, paying your bills, having money for entertainment and other miscellaneous things.
Both of you should also have your own money and independence. You shouldn’t have to degrade yourself by asking for money for your personal items or begging your mom for funds for your children. I think you and your partner would benefit from going to a financial counsellor. You can learn tips and set a plan about a healthy /joint financial relationship. You really do need this. There are also sites online that can help you as well.
Good luck to you both, this is a hurdle you both can overcome!
Send questions to Rosie at: [email protected] or PO Box 152, Kingstown,St Vincent & the Grenadines