Hi Rosie

Is it wrong to get away from my family?
I am 25 years of age and am a decent looking young man, and although I am living with my family I feel trapped. I can’t have a relationship or go out with friends, and if i do go I have to come back within two hours. When it comes to a relationship my family is like the FBI, they always digging up information from God-knows-where and how they get it.

Every day I clean and it’s not enough and everyday is a confusion and carrying on bout simple matters which they make a big noise about.

To top it all off, my grandmother, who is in her 80s, accuses me of things that I don’t do and all the rest of the family is telling me to just relax, but I can’t, because it’s stressful. I rather be at my job than being at home, or find somewhere to live or rent before I go mad and run way… I just can’t take it anymore…

Big Bear

Dear Big Bear,

Your time is here, change is in the wind. My friend, it is time to go, or at least start making plans to go.

I’m not saying to do something erratic, but I’m encouraging you to start putting your plans into play.  You will have to think about saving your money, looking for furniture, maybe even getting a roommate, but most of all your coming to terms with the fact that once you leave, there’s no coming back.

Now this doesn’t create an excuse to become argumentative with your family in terms of their very overwhelming and intrusive approach to your life. Once you are almost ready to spread your wings, you will let them know, with love, that it is time for you to go and it is a positive move as well.

They may try to make you feel guilty, or say that you are being foolish, but remember this will be a new phase for everyone to become adjusted too. I think it’s because they still see you as a kid and the time has come to show them otherwise.  If not you will be stuck in this unhealthy cycle.  Good luck my friend.

Rosie