Hey Rosie,

I am having a problem with my sister’s son, who keeps hitting and pushing around my son, who is two years older than him. They are age 7 and 9, but my sister’s son is a BIG seven-year-old. He throws tantrums when he comes to our house and he wants the toys and games that my son has in his room. When he is told no, he throws them on the floor and tries to destroy them.

Frankly speaking, my husband has said he doesn’t want them over anymore, because of the disruption that they bring. I can understand how he feels, but she is my sister. She doesn’t reprimand her son at all. In fact, she tells my son that he should learn to be nicer, because he is older.

At this stage, my son also doesn’t want him around. This is such a sticky situation, and even our mother thinks it may not end well if we don’t handle it soon.

What should I do, Rosie? It’s causing me anxiety!

Bad Bully

Hello Bad Bully,

Yes, this is a sticky mess! To be caught between your family like this must be horrible; but you will have to put your foot down if you are going to salvage any sort of meaningful family relationship with your sister going forward.

Your nephew should learn the rules of your home and while he is at it, so should his Mama as well.

I am a firm believer that we set the standard about what we will tolerate – ESPECIALLY in our homes! Sit your sister down and tell her that you aren’t pleased by what has been happening between the boys and her lack of discipline as well. Approach her in a way that would allow you to let this load off your chest, but also allowing her the opportunity to say what displeases her as well. Now, I know sisters and this may get heated, so buckle up for some turbulence! If you think it may end in war, get a neutral party to come with you guys to mediate your conversation.

If you notice that nothing is changing and it only seems to be getting worse, then you will have to do what is best for you and your family. It may come down to you only seeing each other on special occasions and in larger groups. Respect flows both ways; make sure that you are also not offending your sister without knowing it. I wish you the very best in getting your message across without too many hard feelings being involved.