Dear Rosie,

I have been married for 16 years and my husband is a cheater! The thing is, Rosie, I am also a cheater, but the difference is, my husband does not hide it. I can’t take it anymore! It seems as if the same things I’ve been doing (behind his back) are coming back to haunt me. We are always at war and it’s just getting worse.

I don’t know what to do. I have even gone to my pastor, but that has not worked. Sadly, I find my main focus is on the woman that he’s with. She’s younger and I’ll admit, a lot better looking than I am. He seems to be into her and I don’t understand what it is.

I have even gone as far as to start spreading her name all over the place and now my husband seems to be more supportive of her because of my actions. I think I really messed up, because the more I try to tarnish her, the more he’s on her like a fly to trash. Am I a big fool, Rosie?

I’ve tried everything for him to come my way, but he seems not to care. He doesn’t even go anywhere with me anymore. People tell me it’s because I’m running my mouth; but how do you get someone to love you back? Is my mouth the problem?

Help, Rosie! I can’t stop talking. What to do?

Can’t Stop Talking

Dear Can’t Stop Talking,

This situation is a sordid mess. Both of you have a very detached and unhealthy way of handling your issues. This has now led to an unhappy point in your marriage .

Ok, let’s talk for a bit; honestly, do you really want to save your marriage or you want to get your husband back because you are jealous of his attention for this woman? It also doesn’t help that he is very disrespectful of his public affection as well. I can only imagine the embarrassment on your end.

Why are you still engaged in this relationship? You are also cheating like your husband, so you are just as guilty as he in this arena, which makes me wonder if you guys didn’t check out emotionally a while ago, but are still married because no one wants to make the first move to end it.

Remember, it takes two people to be invested in order to make a relationship work and it seems as though your husband has his interest set elsewhere at the moment. The best I can say to you is go to counselling and lay your emotional cards on the table. You may find out that you are at the crossroads of change yourself.

Stop spreading rumours and look within for yourself for the answers. I think you already know what you need to do. I do wish you the best.

Rosie

Send questions to Rosie at: heyrosie24@yahoo.com or PO Box 152, Kingstown, St Vincent & the Grenadines