Hey Rosie,

I have been married for three years now to a wonderful man. We just have one problem. He is not very interested in sex. Rosie, he works very hard and is always tired, but I am really getting frustrated. I am 32 years old; he is 42. I don’t think he is having a relationship with anyone else, because when he is not at work, he is here at home. I am the one who always has to initiate sex. {{more}}This was the case even before we got married. I thought when we got married and began living in the same house things would be better, but to be honest, Rosie, I think it is worse. He seems to enjoy sex when we do have it, and I try to be creative and dress attractively, but once a month is just not enough for me. What can I do? By the way, we have one child, a one-year-old boy.

Frustrated

Dear Frustrated,

I can imagine how frustrating this is for you, especially so early into your marriage. But being very truthful about this problem to him will only allow both of you to find the help that you need.

I am also going to tell you that your hubby is at the age where he could be having some issues which may cause him to have a low sex drive. Things such as: a low testosterone count (which he should check out); he may be very tired because he works too much and then when he gets home he has no interest. He may be depressed and this can cause him to have a low sex drive. Some men are also so caught up with being the provider and head of the household and they forget to take the time to be the sexual partner that is very necessary in all marriages. Whatever it is he is going through, it’s “something” and both of you will need to work on rectifying it.

So, first off, I will suggest that you should convince your hubby to go see a doctor to make sure there are no other underlying medical issues. Then, I would sit down and let him know how much you love him, but this lack of sex is really affecting your relationship. Finally, if he is open to getting help, please seek some couple’s counselling – there you may get tips on how to rekindle your love life and that intimate connection which is very necessary in your relationship. 

I wish you the very best, my friend. I know this is a problem that you can both overcome.

Rosie

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