Hey Rosie,
I canât seem to get over my ex. No matter how many times I play back how he cheated on me, physically hit me and cursed me out, I canât get him out of my head. He could be very romantic and loving when he wanted to be and I keep remembering the good times. Rosie, would you believe he broke my arm once and I lied to my family and told them that I fell? I didnât want to get him in trouble.{{more}} The reason why we finally broke up six months ago was that he was choking me and my cousin found him doing it. I was about to pass out and I begged my cousin not to say anything, but she told my older brother who went after my boyfriend and told him to stay away or he would press charges. I really miss him though, and I see he is dating someone else and I am jealous. Help me please, Rosie; why am I still hung up on him?
Canât move on
Dear Canât move on,
Oh my dear, you have many issues to deal with. The biggest is that you have a major self-esteem issue going on where youâve given your power to an abuser. You need to get therapy ASAP.
Listen, you are an abused victim. His being nice when he wanted was one of his manipulative ways of keeping you mentally invested in the relationship. I am sure every time when you said you had enough, he would pile on the charm and say sorry that he didnât mean it, right?
Please understand that you donât deserve this type of abuse EVER! No one should ever put their hands on you; they shouldnât verbally abuse you or make you feel less than ever. I canât believe that he broke your arm and you lied for him! Do you realize that he could have killed you, or that this guy is dangerous? You are going to have to seek someone to talk to for a while to work through all of these emotions. You are thinking like a victim and we have to let you see that you ARE a survivor. I am so grateful for your cousin and brother. Who knows what would have happened to you if they didnât step in when they did?
Consider yourself blessed to be rid of this guy; in fact, you should feel sorry for his new girlfriend, because she may very well be going through the same thing you did before. Seek help! Stick with it! You deserve so much more, not this dangerous nonsense. Good luck!
Rosie
Send questions to Rosie at: heyrosie24@yahoo.com or PO Box 152, Kingstown, St Vincent & the Grenadines
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