Dear Rosie,

I have been with my boyfriend for a year and six months; he is twice my age. I got pregnant shortly after we met and we decided to keep the baby and move in together. That’s where all the problems started and we started to see each other’s true colours. While I was pregnant, yeast infections were causing problems in my sexual life, so one night I decided to test him and said: “If you go out and have sex, I wouldn’t mind .. But just not in the same bed as we do.”{{more}}

A couple weeks after he broke the news to me that he did and he didn’t know that she was a virgin. I forgave him because he told me that she found out about me and she stopped talking to him. I later on found out that he was sending her messages and begging her back, stating that he can’t do without her. Rosie, I was later on verbally abused and harassed by this girl; I also read other messages between him and younger girls, whom he brings home as his friends. When he’s around them, it is like he forgets us and prefers their company to his own family. I don’t know if I love him anymore, but I don’t want to give up because I know what it is to grow up with separated parents and I don’t want that for my daughter. But I don’t know how long I could hold on; plus he recently was abusive. He even attacked me while I had our seven-month-old baby in my arms. I tried to end it, but I only got threats.

I really need advice

Dear I really need advice,

This is a lot of upheaval and madness in just 18 months! Both of you jumped into the deep end without thinking this situation through and now you are paying a steep emotional price.

Just remember whatever I am going to tell you, the final decision lies with you, okay? I don’t like the direction this relationship is heading in; it is in a very toxic and unhealthy place. If you BOTH don’t take a serious move to rectify all of these issues of infidelity, physical and verbal abuse, it isn’t going to end well. If you stopped and just read what you’ve written here, you would see that you are NOT happy at all! Why are you putting up with these types of games and treatment?

To say that you want to stick this out for your baby is not the answer either. A child would rather be brought up in a healthy and respectful single parent home than an abusive two-parent unit. Remember you are now setting the example for this very young life that you are in charge of and this is something to take very seriously. Finally, there is now hitting going on in this relationship! This I cannot endorse at all! Stop and take a look at where you are and what is going on; aren’t you worth more than this? You are a young lady with a very promising future ahead of you. Seek some counselling and get your life straight.

I wish you all of the best in the decisions that you have to make going forward.

Rosie

Send questions to Rosie at: heyrosie24@yahoo.com or PO Box 152, Kingstown, St Vincent & the Grenadines