Hey Rosie!
March 8, 2013

She calls me ‘daddy’. I want to be the father

Hey Rosie,

I have been dating my girl for about three years now. I have been with her ever since she had her daughter at three months old and her child’s father abandoned them. Rosie, I have raised this beautiful little girl as if she were mine for the last three years. In fact she calls me “Daddy”. Rosie, this guy is in and out of her life; more out than in. But we have had an open door policy, so the baby can know her father. My girl and I are about to buy a house and take this relationship to the next level. {{more}}My problem is that I don’t like the mind games this guy plays with his daughter when he wants to be around; also I want to adopt my daughter officially. My girl is open to it, so are her parents, but I think we are going to have a problem with the father, even though he is not in her life on a consistent basis. He is still out there playing games and we are tired of it.

I want to be the father.

Dear I want to be the father,

Well, I applaud you for wanting to officially step in and be the father to this very blessed little girl. We often see the problem of men not wanting to take care of their own children, much less wanting to parent some other man’s child.

Now, in terms of doing this legally, I have to say that you may want to consult a lawyer first to understand the legal steps, then perhaps get a mediator to help everyone come to the table to clearly state what your intentions are in terms of becoming the legal father to this little girl. Once her biological father really has some time to digest what is being presented to him, he may be open to this proposal. Now, he should be given the time to “act up”. It is a normal human instinct. The trick is not to react to this outburst; when he does, always refer him back to the mediator, so he/she can help him see the bigger picture at hand.

Look, the bottom line is I wish you all the success as a young family going forward. It is all for the love of a little girl and family in general, so this comes from a good place. This is not always an easy road, but if you are dedicated to being involved, then it’s worth it. So, you guys are already on the right track.


Send questions to Rosie at:

heyrosie24@yahoo.com or P.O Box 152,

Kingstown, St. Vincent & the Grenadines.