Hey Rosie!
February 5, 2010

Your inner voice

Dear Rosie,

I am so confused right now and have not a clue what to do.

I have a boyfriend and we’ve been together for quite a while now, and recently I’ve noticed a drastic change in his interest towards me. It’s like he’s in a completely different world than I am.{{more}}

I confronted him about it in a mannerly way and he claims that it isn’t so.

A lot of my friends are now telling me that he is having an affair with someone else.

I also asked him about it and he denied it and said they were just friends.

I would like to know what you think…is it true that he is having an affair? And is this the reason why he hasn’t been showing any interest in me lately?

Confused

Dear Confused,

You know that I like to call our instinct the “inner voice” as it never leads us astray. If you think that your boyfriend may be cheating, then you may be right. The question is, what are you going to do about it?

You see, only you can decide what your next move should be. If your partner has changed all his habits towards you and it makes you sad, uncomfortable and possibly second guessing yourself, then consider it a blessing that it is happening now. You aren’t married to this man, so you don’t have to settle for any kind of shabby treatment.

Ladies, let me stress this again to you: You have the power to set the pace, tone and standards in your relationships. Don’t go around thinking that there is a “man shortage” the world over! Do not put it all out there so you can become as disposable as a paper towel from a fast food restaurant. Be that fine linen at the five star establishment that everyone saves up for and fights to get into.

By no means am I saying that you can’t be friendly, approachable and open to new experiences. But you must know if there is a something that is toxic and unhealthy for your well being, it should be left alone. Let me tell you something, if your high standards causes you to have a man walk away from you, then he wasn’t there for the long haul, and that’s ok. We need to date many people until we can determine our likes and dislikes. Never be in a hurry to just settle for the first applicant that slides by your way. Also while we are at it, you must continue to work on yourself. Your education, your social skills and self esteem. Remember, we attract to us what we feel we deserve. So my question to you is, “Do you deserve this kind of treatment?” Only you can answer this one. Good decision making going forward.

Rosie

Send questions to Rosie at: heyrosie24@yahoo.com or P.O Box 152, Kingstown, St. Vincent & the Grenadines.