Hey Rosie!
July 10, 2009
I really don’t trust my boyfriend

Hey Rosie,

I am a 15 year old in form 4, currently attending a particular secondary school. I have been with this boy who is 18-years-old, now for over a year. {{more}} He tells me that he really loves me, he wants to always be with me and I tell him the same because I am really in love with him. But the thing is, he was such a player before and now he is trying to tell me he has changed for me. I am grateful for that but sometimes I find it hard to trust him, although everyone says he has really changed for me. We’ve been through all kinds of things together. Please tell me what to do Rosie.


Dear Confused,

You have heard me mention that at your age you should be enjoying your teenage years with all of your peers. This does not mean that I am disregarding the deep feelings that you have for your 18-year-old boyfriend (is he still in school?). However, I am more about you exploring this world for all the various lessons it has to offer.

If you have doubts about him being faithful to you, maybe this relationship should not become too deep at this time. He may be someone great to hang out with in a group, sometimes in a safe one on one situation or just simply talking to on the phone.

It’s like this: You go to the store and you see 15 different pairs of shoes you would like to get, but you can only afford 3 pairs. You take them home, you wear them on different occasions and enjoy them. However, you aren’t committed to any particular one, because you like them all for different reasons. That is what life is about as well. There are many people in this life we will have the opportunity to meet, and we will like many of them for different reasons. There will be some we will not like, but that is what taking your time does. It helps you weed out the undesirables. We should always give ourselves the option to look at them individually. Then we can really appreciate people for who they are, good or bad. Truly a priceless gift.

Before I go, let me be very clear. I am not saying to go out there and sleep with everybody and compromise yourself. You seem to be very bright and aware of your own situation. Listen to your own inner voice; it will never lead you astray. I am only suggesting that maybe this relationship should slow down a little, and you should just enjoy the simpler things, such as a good friendship first. Much love and good luck, my girl.