Hey Rosie!
July 3, 2009
My girlfriend is stressing me out

Hi Rosie,

I a young Vincy youth who has a massive problem and I hope you can help me. First of all, I have a girlfriend and she madly loves me but we do not live in the same country. We have been together for 10 months now and it has been going well.{{more}}

We love each other but now she doesn’t trust me and she keeps cussing me telling me I am cheating. We fight a lot and I really love her. I am not cheating or anything, but she keeps thinking that I have someone and it’s stressing me. I feel like killing myself or just leaving her and moving on, but I don’t want to hurt her.

Please help me

Dear Please Help Me,

Long distance relationships, I can say many things about them (I had one once; the person still is my friend to this day). However, they are very difficult to navigate.

You and your girlfriend are suffering from the distance. Not being able to see one another is creating the doubt and tension between you. How often do you get to see one another? How do you communicate? Is it via IM or texting? Maybe you could SKYPE via a web cam? You may have to find creative ways to stay in touch.

With regard to her accusing you of cheating, that’s all on her. If you know in your heart that you aren’t cheating, then there isn’t anything else that you can do about that. Once you two are in a relationship, you would have to learn to get past the trust issues.

You know how I feel about that phrase “killing yourself”! I never, never, like to hear that! Again, your life is worth so much. You have to love yourself first. If you find that the effort it takes to convince her that you aren’t cheating is too much stress, then it may be time to say goodbye.

Hurting yourself or the other person due to stress is a good indication that there are some real problems that you will have to look at. If the negatives outweigh the positives in this relationship, then you may very well have your answer. You seem to be a very cool and decent young man. So I encourage you to look very hard at your situation, then decide what is best for you. Remember, you deserve peace of mind as well. All the best to both of you.


Send questions to Rosie at: heyrosie24@yahoo.com or P.O Box 152, Kingstown, St. Vincent & the Grenadines.