Psychiatrist begins process to help grieving children

An upsurge in murders here over the last few years has driven a local psychiatrist to consider the children left behind after the killings.

“When I hear these headlines I think, where are the children? And, I know I am not the only person thinking that,” Dr Amrie Morris-Patterson told a well attended seminar at Frenches House last Friday, June 1.

The seminar, which she organized and solely funded to address the matter of grief in children was facilitated by clinical psychologist Alisa Alvis and targeted local professionals involved with children including social workers, counsellors, case workers attached to the Ministry of National Mobilisation and police officers.

Morris-Patterson told SEARCHLIGHT that the seminar begins the process of identifying grieving children who have lost their parents and seeing what can be done to help.

Noting that death and dying are not comfortable topics to approach, Morris-Patterson said to put into perspective how a child feels when they lose a loved one, we must consider how we feel when the same happens to us.

“How can we help the child to put it into context and be supportive to that child,” questioned Dr. Morris-Patterson.

The psychiatrist said Friday’s event was the first she has held related to grief in children and she is hoping to have more as a multifaceted approach must be taken, because homicide rates are increasing.

She said that as a mental health professional, one begins to think about the children who do not receive the support that is needed when someone close to them dies.

“That sets them up for a lifetime of depression, anxiety and fear if they are not able to have the support they need to go through the grieving process as they should,” Dr Morris-Patterson added, while noting that this may cause disorders in adult life.

“If you see a grieving child, you don’t have to be therapist to intervene, you just have to be a human and be there, break down questions and answer them truthfully…,” said the psychiatrist.

She said sometimes in the Caribbean, we try to exclude children as a way to protect them but that leaves them worse off as they try to assume what happened.

Dr Morris-Patterson said children have many questions when their main caregiver is gone.

“They may think who is going to take them to the dentist, who is going to make sure that their clothes are clean and their socks are clean and their hair is the way they like it. Who is going to make sure that these things happen. So you make sure if you are in a position you can help with the little details. A lot of children after their parents die they feel as if they don’t belong to anybody.”

Dr Morris-Patterson is a lecturer at the Trinity School of Medicine in behavioural science and psychology. Prior to that she worked in the public service for eight years.

Speaking to SEARCHLIGHT, facilitator Alvis said grief can be complicated and we must understand that everyone grieves differently.

“Healthy grieving does not have a standard timeline, you can grieve your whole life,” said Alvis who noted that grief affects how we walk through the world but some persons adapt.

Alvis noted that one cannot say what would happen to children who witness a parent being killed.

She said that such children may become angry and find it difficult to trust other people and that affects their life because they learn something about the way the world works and see the world as a terrible place.

She said that children who go through this should be looked at by a professional who can help them work through the trauma.

“We must let them know that it was terrible, unfair, wrong and reassure them. Telling them it was wrong, that simple fact could help,” said Alvis.