Dr Jozelle Miller
February 23, 2021
Recognizing a Borderline Personality – part 2

(Continued from last week)


Abandonment Issues – People with borderline personality typically fear abandonment to such a degree that they are desperate and even panicky in their efforts to avoid it. Efforts to avoid abandonment can often lead to the very relationship loss they hope to avoid.

Unstable Relationships – For someone with BPD, relationships are both intense and unstable. This is partly due to experiencing the relationship in extreme terms, as the person vacillates between idealizing it and criticizing it. Another problem with relationships is that fear of abandonment leads to clinginess or pushing others away to avoid eventual rejection.

Anger Management Problems – Since extreme, sudden, and frequent anger is often a part of borderline personality, those who haven’t learned how to control their anger can get into trouble. They may get into physical fights to the extent that their actions constitute assault. Criminality related to anger isn’t uncommon.

Of course, the excessive anger isn’t conducive to healthy interpersonal relationships such as marriage or parenthood. Those with BPD may get over anger quickly, but in some cases, this is after damage is already done to relationships.

Misinterpreting Facial Expressions – Borderline personality disorder features a tendency to see negative emotions where others don’t. The person they are interacting with may not be expressing any emotion at all, but people BPD tend to see sadness, disgust, anger or fear when they look at another’s face. This almost invariably leads to further interpersonal problems, because they base their behaviors on faulty interpretations.

What to Do When You Recognize Borderline Personality Disorder Traits in Yourself

Borderline personality disorder may not be ‘curable’ but it can be improved. Both therapies and medications are used to help people cope with unhealthy personality traits.

Your life can change for the better after you take that first step to talk to a trained Psychologist or mental health counselor about your suspicion that you have BPD. This personality disorder takes time to treat, but you gradually become healthier and happier throughout the course of the treatment.

Types of Therapy for Borderline Disorder

Many therapies have been tried for people with BPD, but the two that have proven most effective are cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and dialectic behavior therapy (DBT). Cognitive behavioral therapy examines your unhealthy thoughts and helps you replace faulty perceptions with reality-based thoughts. DBT uses a mindfulness practice to experience life in the moment, giving full attention to the information that you perceive through your five senses. Dialectic behavior therapy also teaches techniques for reducing the intensity of your emotions so that you can have better interpersonal relationships and improved self-esteem.

Another at this time with COVID-19 option for treatment is to choose online counseling; this is offered at The VALEO Experience. Service can be accessed by downloading the VALEO Experience Mobile App on Google play and visiting the website, www.valeoexperience.com .This allows you to work on your personality disorder in whatever environment you find most comfortable.