Dr Jozelle Miller
November 14, 2017
I am good enough…

I would like to encourage everyone reading this article today, to mentally affirm, “I am good enough.”

For a lot of us, we spend our days either being highly critical of ourselves; or entertaining others who are extremely hard on us, pointing out all our flaws and never celebrating our strengths. It sometimes become so intense that even the most self confident individual, may feel the need to take a step back just to regroup and come again; often questioning whether you are good enough for the job; good enough to be in a relationship; good enough as a mother or father, or as a wife or husband.

The thing is, we generally waste too much time pulling ourselves down; keeping our heads down, hiding from the possibility of success rather than trying to achieve success; out of fear we close our hearts from the possibility of love and happiness because we are too scared of rejection and being made to feel less of within our interpersonal interactions.

I would like to interject a reminder. According to Buddha, “All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. Basically, we become what we think.” So it is therefore important that we pay close attention to the thoughts we entertain as these thoughts will become our realities.

Remember the following, whenever you are tempted to feel as if you are not good enough:

1. The people you compare yourself to compare themselves to other people too.

We all compare ourselves to other people, and I can assure you that the people who seem to have it all do not. When you look at other people through a lens of compassion and understanding rather than judgment and jealousy, you are better able to see them for what they are—human beings. They are beautifully imperfect human beings going through the same universal challenges that we all go through.

2. Your mind can be a very convincing liar.

I saw a quote once that said, “Don’t believe everything you think.” That quote completely altered the way I react when a cruel or discouraging thought goes through my mind. Thoughts are just thoughts, and it’s unhealthy and exhausting to give so much power to the negative ones.

3. There is more right with you than wrong with you.

This powerful reminder is inspired by one of my favorite quotes from Jon Kabat-Zinn: “Until you stop breathing, there’s more right with you than wrong with you.”

As someone who sometimes tends to zoom in on all my perceived flaws, it helps to remember that there are lots of things I like about myself too—like the fact that I’m alive and breathing and able to pave new paths whenever I choose. I say it all the time…where there is life, there is hope and as such we are to embrace the possibilities before us to be better tomorrow than we were today.

4. You need love the most when you feel you deserve it the least.

There are times in our lives when we feel we are undeserving of kindness, love or compassion. Those moments when we are in such a low or dark space, we find it difficult to accept love, and understanding from others. But just internalize this in your mind and heart; it is at your worst that you are most deserving of love to help you to change your perspective.

5. You have to fully accept and make peace with the “now” before you can reach and feel satisfied with the “later.”

One thing I’ve learned about making changes and reaching for the next goal is that you cannot fully feel satisfied with where you’re going until you can accept, acknowledge, and appreciate where you are.

Embrace and make peace with where you are, and your journey toward something new will feel much more peaceful, rewarding, and satisfying.

6. Focus on progress rather than perfection and on how far you’ve come rather than on how far you have left to go.

One of the biggest causes of self-loathing is the deep desire or need to “get it right.” We strive for perfection and success, and when we fall short, we feel less than and worthless. What we don’t seem to realize is that working toward our goals and being willing to put ourselves out there are accomplishments within themselves, regardless of how many times we fail.

Instead of berating yourself for messing up and stumbling backward, give yourself a pat on the back for trying, making progress, and coming as far as you have.

7. You can’t hate your way into loving yourself.

Telling yourself what a failure you are won’t make you any more successful. Telling yourself you’re not living up to your full potential won’t help you reach a higher potential. Telling yourself you’re worthless and unlovable won’t make you feel any more worthy or lovable.

I know it sounds almost annoyingly simple, but the only way to achieve self-love is to love yourself—regardless of who you are and where you stand and even if you know you want to change.

You are enough just as you are. And self-love will be a little bit easier every time you remind yourself of that.

Prepared by Dr. Jozelle Miller CEO; The VALEO Experience