Dr Jozelle Miller
December 20, 2016
‘Love’ – the verb – Part 2

(Continued from last week)

Now we all have different love languages and it is important that we know the love language of the person we wish to show love to. Here are a few tips from my own life that I think most persons will appreciate as gestures of love:

1. Listen. Talk less and listen more. The greatest gift you can give someone is your full presence. We feel validated when we’re truly heard. Listen with your whole being. Pause. Breathe before you speak.{{more}} An answer may not be needed….Believe it!!! we don’t always have to fix it. Sometimes we can just be. Just hear the entire thought, the entire feeling; even the pain that only your intuition notices. Don’t interrupt or blast in with projections and opinions. If a response is called for, ask for divine guidance before you respond.

2. Gentle touch. A well intended hug and embrace can reassure someone that you care. Human connectivity is a great contributor to happiness.

3. Pick up the phone. Give someone a call or a text, just to say I am thinking about you. I remembered you in my prayers today. Or just to wish them a wonderful day.

4. Make meals. Having a meal with someone can foster a time of bonding. You do not always need a lot of money, but just a simple meal made with love. I remember the meals cooked by my mom; she would have placed thought and care into everything. Today, I do my best to put care into my cooking whenever I do it. You don’t have to be the best cook on the Food Network, but rather let your food show effort and thoughtful love.

5. Compliments mean a lot. Especially from persons we deem significant in our lives. We can never ever get enough compliments. “You look great!” “This food is awesome!” “You’re so clever!” Don’t be stingy, just let them roll out, but make sure you are sincere and honest in what you are saying.

6. Give each other space. Remember I said earlier that love isn’t about possession, so we not try to imprison someone under the guise of love. Wings don’t spread when they’re caged. We all need space to thrive. Giving your loved ones space shows them that you trust them, you appreciate and honour their journey too. Work on giving others space not just when it’s convenient or when you feel strong and independent. Space is a spiritual gift for self growth.

7. Little gifts. Shy away from the idea that a gift has to be exorbitant and over the top. A gift is something given from the heart with good intent. Little gifts can make a big impact. Get creative.

Prepared by

Dr Jozelle Miller


Dr Miller is Health Psychologist at the Milton Cato Memorial Hospital.