Dear Pastor
November 18, 2005
I can’t take part at church because of my adultery

Dear Pastor,

I am a born again believer. I once used to live right.

I have migrated from my country and I am living abroad. I have had a problem since I moved overseas. The problem is that I go to church all the time, but I am not taking any part at church. I was encouraged to be part of the ministry but did not.

My reason for that is I am seeing a married man. I have tried to leave him but he does not want to leave me. I prayed and went to the altar many times, but still nothing is changing. {{more}}

I need help to leave this married man and get involved in the church ministry.

Please give my letter a quick reply.

Time is running out.


Listen, I do not want to seem to be trivializing your problem but the reality is that there comes a time when you must go beyond prayer and going to the altar and just change.

You have been sexually involved with this man so obviously there are some spiritual ties that cause you to be bound; however the power of the Lord is able to set you free. In the end though, your deliverance hinges on your will, because God will not disregard your will, he will in fact use your will as the cue to strengthen you through your time of repentance and renewed consecration. It has nothing to do with the man not wanting to leave you alone because if you really want him to, he has no other choice but to back off.

You are not required to care about protecting him; while you were with him it was mutual but now once you are seriously saying no more, then he has to respect that.

If he is bugging you then maybe you have to get drastic, and I am serious. Threaten to, and if comes to it, tell his wife, threaten to make a police report. Whatever you have to, do it….once you’re serious.

But quite often people talk about wanting to change but put themselves in situations to see the person, openly melt like butter when the person is around, make casual “how are you doing” and “I miss you but…” calls which is clear stupidness. If you are changing then change, drop that man like a hot potato and get back with your God. It is not easy and you are almost certain to get withdrawal symptoms, heightened sexual desires and all that, but he doesn’t have to know that. Through your pain the Lord will strengthen you and bring you back into wholeness.

Whenever you are feeling frustrated over the process remember God didn’t put you there, you made a crazy choice and it is you now to make the turn of repentance and allow God to restore you. Then the involvement in church and ministry will flow.

Pastor Jackson