Dear Pastor
August 19, 2005
Co-worker jealous over female staff

Dear Pastor,

I am a regular reader of your column and I like the way you respond to issues.

Pastor, my problem is, I have a male co worker who seems to be obsessed with the female workers in the office. {{more}}

Pastor, as simple as if a male customer comes into the office and speaks to us or compliments us he will get all upset and cuss and carry on. The man will behave as if he wants to fight, real jealous. Pastor, none of the females in the office is interested in him.

When he is confronted he acts as though he don’t know what we saying and will say he is a player and a pimp and things like that. He says he don’t care about anyone and all he does is use women. But if that is the case his actions says differently because he not behaving like a player, he is behaving like an obsessed man who needs help.

A Concerned Co-worker.

Dear Concerned Co-worker,

It seems like you guys have a ready made security service… just kidding.

On a serious note though, a person can be overprotective of the people he is concerned about and tend to give off that shield of protection when ever he/she feels their loved ones are under attack. But what you have described more fits the bill of a man who may need some professional help.

I know we often think about those things as happening only in the movies or large countries but I will be concerned if I were you that this person is giving such “unwanted and unwarranted protection”

In a larger country such a person will be watched closely for patterns of violence and so forth but I guess unless things of such nature happen we really don’t take it seriously. Hey it may turn out to be nothing but you are right not to take it all for granted.

Have you guys tried putting him in his place, even very sternly and abruptly, this may help shake him out of this fantasy of some how being in charge of you all. It is amazing but factual that people can create their own sense of reality and create their own little world.

So although I am no psychologist, I will recommend that you be very stern about his attitude. Because if he is not mentally off balanced then at the very least he is out of place and presumptuous. So don’t giggle and “kicks” about his behaviour, confront him.

Make it abundantly clear that you do not appreciate the attention, if he continues, report it to higher authority and let them deal with him. If he still doesn’t stop then he needs professional help.

Pastor Jackson