Dear Pastor
July 22, 2005
My friend ripping off her new guy

Dear Pastor

Reading your last letter, I was very concerned about a situation that is going on here. I am mainly from S.V.G but living in Barbados for the past few years, here is my problem.

There is a friend of mine who came up from St Vincent too, she was married but the marriage got sour. She fell in love with a guy down there in space of few months, then she came over to this country and still talking about the new guy. She left the new guy to look after her children and she said the father is not giving her anything for the children. ##M[more]##

Now she met this other guy over here, she claims not to like him but wants to take every thing from him. He offered to pay the rent for her and different things, and she accepted knowing she doesn’t like the guy. She also professes to be a Christian, and although I spoke to her and told her it is not right to take what the guy has and don’t want him, she is telling me nothing is wrong with that.

Please answer me in your weekend letter.

Concerned Friend

Hi Concerned Friend,

You have all reasons to be concerned. It is an interesting coincidence because I am in fact answering your email from Barbados. My family and I are having a little R & R (rest and relaxation).

Your friend is heading down a dangerous road that has long lasting repercussions for her. From what you described in your email, she knows exactly what she is doing, using someone to get what she wants. But the interesting thing is that while in her mind she is the one doing the using to that seemingly unaware Bajan man he could very well be the one who is “using” her, a little money for the proverbial honey.

I do not mean to make it sound so casual because it is anything but casual. Your friend’s behavior is just a tip of the great iceberg of “unrepentant, deliberate” loose living and trivialization of sexual intimacy. Sad to say but in today’s world sex has become a commodity that is bartered, bargained and use in power and pleasure broking. The truth is that such behavior existed way back then but I guess living in the information age makes the disgusting even more repulsive because it is “all up in your face”.

This is not war path sermon, far from it. I am aware of the power of sexual desires and the pull towards experimentation and loose living but when it is done with such disregard and lack of remorse, it still jolts me back a bit.

All you can do is talk to your friend and trust that she will, if not for her sake but her children’s live a life that is one of more self control and self respect. But as for the situation, I have a sneaky suspicion that her bajan lover is not feeling used but is rather seeing their arrangement as an exchange.

As for the Christianity claim…..GIVE ME A BREAK!

Pastor Jackson