Dear Pastor
April 29, 2005
The man I love is breaking my heart

Pastor Jackson,

I’m a reader of your column, and desperately need some advice.

This individual and I have been together for almost 10 years, and we’ve formed a family. But recently he seems to have taken an interest in the night life, which was not how I knew him to be. {{more}}

Pastor, I’ve tried talking but it seems like he is not paying any attention to my plea. He is being advised by friends who don’t care about family life.

Right now pastor, I love him very much, bottom line is I can’t go on without him. For the past month or so I’ve had sleepless nights. Everyday I cry for him, even when I walk the streets I cry. I try not to but the tears just flow. It’s paining my heart, I can’t even eat; it has been weeks since I ate properly. He has even started sleeping out. Where? I don’t know.

So if you have any advice it’ll be help because I think I’m running out of time.

Running Out Of Time

Hi Running Out Of Time,

By all means I understand your concern. It is very difficult to put your` trust and faith in someone for as long as ten years and then see every thing threatening to fall apart.

People who honestly work hard at building solid relationships really do feels the pain if it crumbles, obviously! Be that as it may though, I still cannot agree with your tone of helplessness as though if your fears do come to past that your life will end… because that is not so.

Whether in a relationship like yours or the GOD ORDAINED ,SANTIFIED UNION OF MARRIAGE we must understand that the selfish, lustful, prideful tendencies of mankind (male and female) stemming from the root of sin causes many to give up a “good thing’ in the pursuit of foolishness or to hold on to habits that ultimately destroys us.

When these things happen (and we must pray that it isn’t often) the hurt party must remember that as long as they are alive hope is not gone. And I say the same to you, cry yes, feel the pain sure….. You are blessed with these emotions, use them. But when all is said and done, dry your tears, dust off your pants (or skirt) and LIVE.

It is an embarrassment to God for you to say that because your long time companion has lost his head and began to “act the fool” that all that he has blessed you with, your gifting, abilities, dreams are no longer worth living for……. That will be a shame and as I just stated : an embarrassment to God

Meanwhile you should not lose faith to soon, you have to believe that your ten years together will help him to wake up to what he is doing.

You may even need to get someone to sit with both of you to help you work through this.

Most importantly though, WHEN you guys work through this, seal it with a walk down the altar ok? Before all this though, go eat a good meal!

Pastor Jackson