Dear Pastor Jackson,

I have a serious decision to make and I really need your help. Pastor I was in a relationship with my first boyfriend for four years and we have two children. Things did not work out between us and now we are separated. Recently though, he has been asking me to come back to him. He says that he wants us to build a family together and does not want our children to grow up without him. {{more}}Pastor, I am not sure that I want to get back with him because we had a lot of problems while we were together. The thing is he does seem to have changed and we are older now so maybe we can make things work. You see I too don’t want my children to grow up without their father. Can you please guide me, I am a bit confused.

Hi,

Do not get back together with your ex boyfriend for your children’s sake; that’s a bad idea. The only reason both of you should even think about getting back together to build a life together, is if you both have learnt from the errors of your relationship, to truly love each other and desire to make such a commitment.

You see it sounds good to say that you are doing it for the children’s sake but in the end it can be worse for them. Because if nothing has changed between both of you, then you are only going to break the children’s heart when they see you guys explode and separate again. So it might be best that you guys maintain a cordial relationship, discuss and come up with a plan to have the father involved in the children’s lives. It is not the ideal situation but things happen (mainly because of our bad decisions) and we are forced to make necessary adjustments.

However if you too have really grown up, realize the errors, are willing to make the necessary changes and you are in love with each other then sure… build a life together, honour the Lord, put him first and be a family.