Dear Pastor
February 4, 2005
‘I still want to be with him’

Dear pastor,

Thank you for allowing your self to be used to give advice every week to so many people who really need it. Pastor I am right now in a situation that is making me very concerned and I can really do with some advice.

The thing is I have had an on and off fling with this guy for a while now. A month or so ago he told me that he has become a Christian and wants things to break up between us. Now I go to church and thing and even though I am not a Christian I respected his decision because I know that he is doing the right thing. {{more}}

The problem is we still see each other often and I know he has been trying to make sure that nothing ever happens again between us because he really wants to continue in his decision. Pastor he is trying real hard and I admire him for that but it is now getting to me. He is saying that he wants us to continue to be friends but this is frustrating me .I still want to be with him and I know things will happen if we continue to be so close.

Pastor he feels he is strong and all that but I notice the times when he is weak around me but I don’t push anything. But I don’t know if I can continue to be so good, I am feeling to just forget everything and take what I want because I know he cannot resist me if I make a move. I don’t know what going on with me but I just don’t want to be responsible for making him turn back. I am confused.

Hello confused,

Your confusion implies something real good; you have a conscience. Even though you are not a Christian you have an understanding of the seriousness of your friend’s decision and you are subtly helping him even though your sinful instinct may be pushing you in another direction. I believe that this respect may very well be a foundation for you to make a change in your own life and serve the Lord.

As for your friend he is sincerely deceived from what you are saying. So often many persons turn from their old lifestyles and believe that because they have experienced a couple of months of victories that the enemy of their souls have somehow retired from his ambition of destroying their lives…… which is so far from the truth. In fact all indications given by scripture lead us to believe that the devil just looks over his strategy and tries again and again and again, because the “roaring Lion” never stops seeking whom he may devour. Your friend has to learn to let go totally and let his new character be formed. There will come a day; once he continues to grow when he can truly be around you and let his light shine, but I agree, right now he is playing with fire.

Besides taking a look at your own relationship with your God, please don’t take advantage of his folly, stay away from him, if he really is your friend don’t be selfish.