Dear Pastor
October 15, 2004
Fed up of married man calling me

Dear Pastor,

I have a problem and I would really like to get your advice. Pastor, I was in a relationship with a married man that lasted about six months. Now I know it should not have happened at all, but it did.

One day I just decided that it had to end. I could not bear to watch his wife and children. Although they did not know I felt bad, I called it off with him. {{more}}The truth is, I really did not love him like real love or anything. I feel a bit ashamed to say but I really was just having some fun, and I really did only like the excitement of it.

But now that I called it off, he keeps calling me and asking me to meet him. I am not interested, but I am not sure how to deal with him because it has been over four months now that things have been over and I thought he would get over that. I do not want to be too ungrateful because while we limed he used to give me a lot, but I am also fed up with him calling me every minute and bothering me. How should I handle him?

Moving On.


You said in your letter that you really did not love him but were in it for the fun. The truth is he may very well feel the same way and just isn’t ready for the fun to be over. Many times people in your situation think that it’s love, when in fact it’s just a lustful excitement which they use as an excuse to deal with their real life. The truth is, if the tables were turned and you were his wife, then his wife now might have been the “other woman”. Again it is not love, it is lust!

I said that to say this: you must move on with your life and stop trying to shield his feelings. He is a big boy; he will handle it and either see the errors of his ways or find another object to fulfil his lustful desires.

So, if you have to be rough, be rough, even if you have to threaten a conversation with his wife, do it. While the both of you were in that ungodly union, whatever he gave you as gifts were part of the package. You owe him nothing – in fact your attitude now may be what he needs to slap himself back into reality and see what really matters, his family!

As for you, please find yourself your own husband and leave other people’s husbands alone. If you look good and they come after you … RUN, ok my dear?