Dear Pastor
July 16, 2004

Woman cannot forgive Church sister for taking her hubby

Dear Pastor,

I have a problem in my own church where I attend.
You see about ten years ago I fell in love with a brother and my best friend, who was also a Christian, told me that he was too good for me because of my past life before I became a Christian. {{more}}
She and her family came together and told the guy about my past. Pastor, half of what they told him was untrue. He told me what they said and that it did not matter to him. He said my past was not important.
The thing is I was so hurt to see that a family in the church was so much against me. I started to ignore the brother and hid my feelings for years.
Pastor, I even went overseas but I still loved this brother and could not get rid of my feelings. I even asked the Lord to take them away from me. The sister ended up marrying him. Now ten years later I do not hurt any more for him but I cannot seem to forgive and forget what the sister did to me. Please help me.


Dear Tangled,

I wish I knew you ten years ago so that I could have reminded you that who the Lord sets free is free indeed. If only I had the opportunity to tell you that if the man said that it doesn’t matter, even with the added lies told to him, then you should just keep the man, marry him, have a lot of babies and serve Jesus.
But now I have to remind you that complete honesty is what is going to set you free in this situation. My sister, the young man and your “friend” are already married and you have accepted that aspect. So now that you are back I think you need to finally confront her, let her know with COMPLETE HONESTY how she hurt you. Let her know that she had a huge part to play in you walking out on the love of your life. I believe that once this is in the open, VERBALLY, then you can truly start the process of healing. God is a just God and your life has not ended… So live your life. You will not forget in the normal sense of the word but as your life takes new turns the significance of her actions will fade… I will pray for you. I do hope your friend has made peace with God, and also realize the opportunity to make peace with you.