Platinum (70) years ago, in 1952 ah remember when Headteacher, Sir Tommy Saunders made de announcement dat King George VI had died, even though we were bastard children of de British Empire, we all put on we sad faces on hearing de British Colonial Master had passed away. But in de same breath, when Sir Thomas announced dat “school will be closed foh half-day” and we can go home to mourn foh de king, de school burst into ah joy-full uproar. De following year, still many Platinum Years ago, when Princess Elizabeth, de deceased king’s daughter and successor, was crowned Queen, we had ah Coronation to remember. Ah week of activities, one day we went to school to celebrate and sing “God Save our gracious Queen.” Den we were served refreshments “corned beef and bread, Ju-C ‘n’ cake, Ju-C was new, ah real novelty in 1953. Dat was my first and only Coronation so far.

But time really Flies. Dat same Queen’s Platinum Anniversary is coming up, and members of de Royal family meking de rounds to all former member countries of de British Empire, to become aware ah de festivities. One of de Queen’s grandsons William, the Duke of Cambridge, second in line to de throne, had ah rough Repar-rare-shun welcome when he went on de Belize and Jah-mek-her leg. Lie-Za is sorry William not coming here, she will however ask his uncle Edward who coming here, to deliver on his return to Britain, ah Thank Yuh message to de University of Wales foh awarding 37 Scholarships to Vin-see students now studying in Wales, ah small token of Reparation on behalf of Thomas Phillips, an educational philanthropist, ah slave owner, a major donor to St David’s College, Lampeter, and the founder of Llandovery College in Wales. Troublesome Lie-Za is now asking Edward when can we expect his contribution to Reparation beginning wid another 50 Platinum Scholarships to Vin-See students.

Dis third son of de Queen, Edward, Earl of Wessex and his wife will be in SVG dis weekend. Lie-Za has bad and good news foh Eddy who will plant another Soufriere Tree in de Botanic Gardens. Man Captain Bligh done plant ah Breadfruit Tree in de Gardens already, so Eddy must climb de La Soufriere Volcano and plant dis Sourfiere Tree, way it belongs and way visitors will be excited to climb de Volcano mountain to see Prince Eddy’s Soufriere Tree. As an alternative, Prince Eddy is welcomed to plant ah Seed at de proposed New Hospital site in Arnos Vale, den return to Buckingham Palace, tell his dear Mom, de Queen dat in recognition of her Platinum Anniversary, and her contribution to Reparation, he has planted ah Seed in her name, de honour is now hers to mek dat Seed grow by building ah Platinum Hospital around it.

Lie-Za say she will not tell Prince Eddy bout de young lady who was experiencing excruciating pains in her right side, at de MCMH dey gave her pain killers and sent her home. No results, she returned, when dey finally operated, she died from appendicitis. Neither would she tell Prince Eddy dat by strange coincidence our PM claimed he too, was experiencing excruciating pains, and on his right side too. But he was able to fly foh treatment in Venezuela and if necessary go on to Cuba. So maybe coming out ah dis Platinum Celebrations foh Queen Elizabeth, SVG should stand to get some Reparation from de British Monarchy, beginning wid Athletics Scholarships at University in Wales and ah Platinum Hospital in Arnos Vale. And wid dat is gone ah gone again.

One Love Bassy

Bassy Alexander is a land surveyor, folklorist and social commentator.

[[UPDATED on Saturday, April 23, 2022 at 7:44 am AST to correct the names of the members of the Royal Family who visited Jamaica and Belize in March 2022 as part of the Queen’s Platinum Jubilee.]]