August 29, 2014

Nah-shun-all dis-truck-shun

My Nah-shun-all Insurance Service (NIS) Pen-shun is ah Lickle drop ah money eh, but it does stop ah big hole. As de line in de song goes: “Lickle is much when God is in it!” Every fortnight ah could put me pot pon de fire, head foh de Bank, den go market to buy sum-thing foh cook. So ah got nuff reason to start feeling nerve-us, when ah hear how Go-venom-mint was not depositing Public Servants NIS deduct-shun pen-shun money. And when dey realize dat de boulie was about to buss and de bomb was to drop, dey run to de NIS board wid ah piece ah paper mark I.O.U. fifteen million dollars, call it ah Bond, and tell de NIS Board: “Yuh hold on to dat. If we don’t pay, de next Go-venom-mint will pay yuh, and if de next Go-venom-mint go bank-rupt like we, de next one after dem will pay!”{{more}}

As far as ah over-stand, is dat every Employer is suppose to tek out ah lickle sumting from de salary of evey wuker, den de Employer will match dat lickle something wid ah lickle sumting from de Company and den de Employer will pass both lickle sumting over to de NIS. De same procedure holds foh Wukers wid Go-venom-mint. Go-venom-mint tek out public servants money, match it wid sum-ting from Guv-venom-mint, and den tun it all over to de NIS. De NIS will tek all de lickle sumting dey collect which at de end ah de month, builds up to ah sizeable amount, invest it, like lending it to reputable and not so reputable Organ-I-say-shun as has happened wid BAICO, way NIS lose forty million dollars. NIS looks foh as high ah interest rate dat it could get, 6% or 8% or even 10%; de more dey ge, de better foh Pen-shuners. Trust me de NIS has been good to we Pen-shuners. My lickle pen-shun does increase like every three or so years, and it punctual, NIS nah mess wid we Pen-shun, but dis ULP Go-venom-mint is who like dey want to lick up de NIS like how dey lick up de NCB.

De Go-venom-mint has been deducting Public Servants contribution, and foh some time now have not been forwarding it along wid their matching contribution to de NIS. In other words dey have been using Public Servants contribution that should have been invested by NIS and gathering Interest. And now dey can’t find de money to pay NIS, dey leav ah I.O.U Slip wid NIS, dey even short-changing de NIS by offering to pay 4.5 percent interest. Dis is what Lie-Za calls Gunsy-math-tricks.

Dey’s no better de beef, no better de barrel between de Go-venom-mint and de Red-is-straw, her bad sit-yu-hear-shun was dat she did not withhold de money she deposited it all, she erred when she drew it all out, but den ah overs she paid back ah sizeable amount in cash, maybe what she should ah done was to leave ah I.O.U Slip foh de remainder wid de Ah-torn-knee General. Dis whole see-narrower brings de name Bre Nancy to mind. He did say ‘today foh Mrs Marks, tomorrow foh de Rest’! Lie-Za is very forgiving, she does say: “Jesus know why He did tell de people dem to cast de first stone, but only if dem have no sin!”

Going back to my Pen-shun money. Ole people say “Fool-fool ah talk but nah fool-fool ah listen!” De Go-venom-mint explanation foh giving de NIS ah I.O.U slip, is because ah de flood damages in December, (but de Awe-position chanting dem say dey have not deposited de wukers deduct-shun since April 2013). Anyhow dey claim dey used de pension deduct-shuns in anticipation ah Disaster money from outside donors. But as An-easier Baptist de DROP leader, oops way did dat “O” come from, must be from de I.O.U way Go-venom-mint O de NIS. But DRP leader say de Go-venom-mint already received close to three hundred million dollars, and rather dan pay-up de wukers donations from way dey receive, dey hand ah I.O.U. slip give de NIS. And have de nerve to get up in de House, beat dey chest say how NIS got ah war-chest dat can’t touch.

Ley we nah forget when dis same ULP Go-venom-mint was borrowing out Nah-Shun-all Come-mesh-all Bank (NCB) money to pay salaries, and finance dey mismanaged Statutory Boards. Member how Awe-position leader, Arm-in was preaching dat de NCB was drowning in bank-rupt-sea; PM Gone-Soft hit back hard saying dat de Awe-position was spreading false rumor! But Gone-soft was forced by de CDB to mek his “master stroke” dat everybody, cry watch in shock when de NCB Bank was caught on de boundary foh ah me-gah forty million dollar, ah big sell-out!

Lie-Za say anything wid de name “Nah-shun-all” is Gone-soft fear-foh-hit toy. De NCB, dah was Nah-shun-all! De Lotto, dah is Nah-shun-all. She refers to de Lotto as de Go-venom-mint kitty-bank and pitty-cash cow! Remember Nah-shun-all Properties and de refurbished Marketing Board dat cost millions, dat gone!! Nah-shun-all Properties mortgaged all de State Lands wid de Nah-shun-all Bank and de Nah-shun-all Insurance Service, and gave de money to build de Big One, de Inter-Nah-shun-all Airport, dat coming, but Sin-vin-sin going! Ah don’t know way she gets her stories from but Lie-Za say her Ah-count-aunt friend told her dat every month, Go-venom-mint selling twenty million dollars I.O.U slips, to pay salaries. One ah these days maybe it might be too late, but Auditor General, Madam Sealey will one day inspect de books and de truth will be told. And wid dat, is gone ah gone again.

One Love Bassy

Bassy Alexander is a land surveyor, folklorist and social commentator.