On yuh marks! Re-sign! Go!

Yuh could call me: “Miss Con Duck, Miss Bee Hayve Yah, Miss Demean Nah, Miss Ahpro Pre-hear-shun.” Call me way ever name yuh want. But ah name Teef and nothing can’t change it.”

Ah Teef by any other name is ah Teef!” Except of course, in SVG we got two cat-ah-carry Teeves, namely Big Teef and Small Teef! Ah Big Teef is ah Teef from ah Small Shot Family, and ah Small Teef is de same Teef, except dat s/he come from ah Big Shot Family! Ah Big Teef wid his/her Small background, makes it Big in de News, gets to sleep ah few nights under police cost-study and protect-shun in de Barracks, if de haul is dat Big, someone wid Big Bucks will have to stand Bail foh him/her. But s/he will not be able to head straight foh de Airport and jump pon ah plane and leave, never! De Police seizing all yuh travel doc-yuh-mints.{{more}}

But if yuh are ah Small Teef, one from ah Big Shot family, is ah different story. Yuh cool if yuh wuking wid de Go-venom-men’t, even yuh name is protected, dey refer to yuh by yuh title: “ de PS, ah Senior Official, ah Pal-lament-aye-run, ah Deplore-mat and so on, den yuh would be given several Up-shun: “ Ah straight trans-fur, or ah trans-fur-dah wid pro-more-shun, or ah temporary so-spend-shun until everything cool down. If per chance your haul is ah bit on de Big Side, like ah four hundred thousand, wid tears in her eyes, yuh will be told politely by de AG: “On yuh Marks, Re-sign and Go!” Yuh will be well advised to co-operate, and yuh will be given nuff time to Big Out sorry, Dig Out! And den de Police will be asked to Infest-de-gate! But why all de Big Fuss, dis is ah Nine Days Talk country. Nine Days from now, as was de case of de Ex-consel General, “Nothing More” will be said or heard of de Red-is-straw. Ah say “Nothing More” as though anything at all was said, except dat de AG sat wid her foh ah half hour, and den asked her to Re-sign! Slowly but surely, Retch-rebuke-shun coming.

LOOK FOH MORE BILLS

Lie-Za warn me to listen to de Par-liar-mint foh ah wicked Bill dat will be brought into effect, wretch-yuh-actively to wipe de slate clean of any alleged Hanky Panky to do wid SVG Pass-port. Not so long we had ah lot ah concerns about SVG Pass-sports, querry from Canada, querry to do wid sale and price at de Ex-consell General’s office; querry wid ah lot ah Pass-sports burnt here in SVG. So dis Bill will not only put all ah dis to rest but will do so wretch-yuh-actively. In other words if dey was any wrong doing wid Pass-sport, dey will be no enquiry, no possibility of bringing to account any wrong doers or wrong doings.

Dis lickle piece ah leg-is-slay-shun got Lie-Za scared. She was saying, she overs dat de man “Way-come” wid de pull-it-tek-all crystal bawl told de ruling regime dat dey trailing badly at de Poles, don’t even think bout calling elect-shun any time now. So wid dat kind ah warning, dis Pass-sport Retch-throw-active Bill could just be de first of ah number of other Bills to come. Like foh example, we might just see ah Bill to mek un-revocable, all No-lip-rust cases dat were thrown out!

And while all ah dis is teking place, people wid voices remain silent. Ley me remind us dat Leviticus 5 verse 1 says: “‘If anyone sins, because they do not speak up when they hear a public charge to testify regarding something, they have seen or learned about; they will be held responsible.”

MISS BESS IS BEST IN BREAD

Ah want to commend ECGC foh hosting yet another successful National Baking Competition, dat includes Home Ec students as well. And special congratulation go out to all participants, because ah overs dat practically all items submitted were Award winners in dey own rights. Except of course, ah want to taste a piece ah de first place winner, Jessica Bess’ Breadfruit and salt-fish Bread, and her coconut wid Tamarind filling Cake. Some people does say dey love Breadfruit and Salt-fish; in my case I am ah Salt-fish and Breadfruit man; note ah did not say dat I am ah Salt-fish man wid breadfruit, dey’s ah difference. Ah want more Salt-fish dan Breadfruit. Miss Bess hails from Green Hill which is just ten minutes from way ah live at Murray Village, so when next she mek her Salt-fish wid Breadfruit Bread, if she invites me, ah would gladly go up by her foh ah taste of her Bread. Note again ah asking foh her Bread. And wid dat is gone ah gone again.

One Love Bassy

Bassy Alexander is a land surveyor, folklorist and social commentator.