Should I be with this guy who is eight years older than me?

I always look forward to reading whatever advice you have to give to everyone. I am 19 years old and recently I’ve been talking with a individual who is 28 years old. I know there is a big gap between our ages. We are both Christians. Like you, he gives me advice, whether I want to hear it or not.{{more}} We know everything about each other. We’ve both been hurt in the past by people who supposedly loved us. Slowly, I have been falling for him. He’s asked me if I will ever be in a relationship. I told him I will think about it. My friends tell me as long as I feel he is being honest with me, and I feel he wouldn’t take advantage, then I should try, and that age doesn’t matter. I want to tell him yes, but I want to know if I’m making the right decision.

Young and Undecided

Dear Young and Undecided,

I think that you are very smart to take your time to get to know this man. There is nothing wrong about being cautious when it comes to forming relationships.

Now, I think it’s great that you both are Christians and have open communication with each other. That is always a great foundation for forming a friendship that can sometimes last a lifetime.

Now, having said that, I am going to go back to the age thing and also to being hurt in the past. In my opinion, I wouldn’t commit to some deep relationship for a bit, because it may be a bit premature in your case. Why? I think that you are too young to take this leap at this time when there really is no need. Why don’t you continue with the relationship, peeling back the layers of who he is as a person? You can find out what he stands for, what you like and dislike about him and so forth.

I know you are falling for him and that’s all good, but I am trying to school you on thinking with your head and not your heart. I am not saying that he may not be “The Guy,” but I am saying not now; why get yourself in deep, when your life of many possibilities is now unfolding before you? You have so many options ahead of you – school, a career, travel, new people and experiences; it is very important that you are free to be you. There will be a lot of time to be a “couple” with him or someone else; I say this with a lot of love. Slow it down and enjoy your uncomplicated life right now.

Rosie

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