Essential pillars for a healthy, happy home

Editor: The home plays an important role in the development of an individual. The rise in homicides and other crimes is not just the responsibility of the government and community, but the home plays a pivotal role. I dare say if we have stronger homes, we would have fewer murders and other crimes. Having said that, we know that there would still be exceptions in terms of persons coming from good, godly, well disciplined homes committing crimes. Nevertheless, most of these men who commit these murders come from weak homes.

In any home a good environment is important for the child’s development and the homes from which they came in many cases contribute to their lifestyle. In any good home, a healthy environment Charity (Love) is one of the major pillars. Love must not be divided but equally distributed, for in some cases a mother gives love to some more than the rest, depending on the father and his support. This can make one child feel more important than others and those with less love, feel abandoned and not important.

This is a recipe for disaster because they would find themselves seeking love and attention in the gangs and elsewhere. For the girls, they find it from men who take advantage of them.

Another major pillar is Communication. This is a two way street. The children should feel comfortable speaking to their parents about anything. The parents ought to become the best friend and the first persons they speak to about their issues. On the other side, the parent(s) should spend time with their children in teaching them values, being a role model in what they teach and simply being there for your children.

Discipline also forms part of communication. We often hear mothers say, “me cah go wid um” referring to a child who is rude and ill-disciplined. With proper communication a child ought to be taught what is right and what is wrong and ought to be spoken to when he/she goes out of line. Discipline will be part of communication and it must be administered from a young age and with love and not out of anger.

Choices given or taken from the child is another major pillar in the home. Often times we see parents giving their children all the freedom they want. It seems that the child determines what he or she gets and not the mother any more. Sometimes you wonder who is really in charge? Is it the mother or the child? On the other extreme, is the mother making decisions the child should be making? The child seldom has any say in anything. Parents ought to guide their children in decision making and in choices. This will teach them responsibility and help them develop mentally. There are times when the choice must be discuss and explained to the child so that the child understands.

Finally, Christ must be a major pillar of homes. I dare say, this should be the most important pillar of every home. We need to return to Christ, where He becomes the head of the home. This involves daily devotion at home, going to church, respect for lives and others and importantly, godly living by the parents. Let the children see Christ in us and not just be told about Him. We need to return to the days where we had respect for Sundays, churches and God. Our children need to carried to Sunday school and when issues arrive we pray for them.

It is very healthy and I strongly recommend that parents pray with and for their children. But again howcan they, when they themselves are not Christians and do not practice this. Then it means that parents should be godly, be a Christian and live for God. Only by having these pillars in the home we can have a healthy home. A healthy home harbours good and morally healthy children who grow up to be good adults.

May we examine our own homes and seek by God’s grace to have a healthy home built on the aforementioned pillars. Of course there are more that can be added, but space does not allow for that. May God bless our homes and we see a reduction in homicides and other crimes. And may we learn to forgive and love one another. God bless.

Kennard King