Editor: Please permit me space to applaud the talents of our Vincentian bus conductors. Although their occupation is often belittled and reduced to a mere sliding of a door, a fair observer would recognize that it is an art. These âductors know our expansive and shrinkage capacity, exemplified by their piercing commands to âsmall up yoselfâ or the heads shouting through the window of the moving contraption we know as van, âroom for twoâ or âonly twoâ. The same vans licensed to carry 14 elsewhere, comfortably carries 18 here. A very skilled conductor can exceed that capacity by as much as 33 per cent.
The unique instinct of Vincy conductors must never be ignored. One can only be amazed when the driver, at times the owner or boss, is instructed to âturn back yaâ or âshove off, we go catch two up the roadâ. These guys instinctively understand the mood of customers. For the benefit of the passengers, they also know which customers to refuse. You would occasionally hear, âdonât pick he up, he does chat too muchâ or âPass that parrot deyâ. There is also the âDonât pick she up, she too lazy. She nar war walk up, always war we drop um ah e gateâ.
How can I forget also, when the driver is told to âbuss a second,â as the driver is implored to reorient to the appropriate gear for the conditions? Might I add, most of these fellas donât even have a driverâs licence. Their only experience with driving, merely exceeds the occasion fowl or stray dogs that encroach their surroundings. Notwithstanding, they know when a second gear or a third gear is needed.
The job does have its perks, too, if driven by promiscuity. My Vincy âductors make ânuffâ big men bawl. My boys get blame for many instances of infidelity. Not that Iâm condoning this alleged behaviour, but at the same time, who can blame them. The guys are often the recipient of numerous grants from generous queens of the aristocracy, while contemporaries wax cold in envy.
Just take your mouth off my Vincy conductors. They are special. Large up, me say.
Peace and Love