The family in crisis – is there hope?

Fri, Jun 1. 2012

Editor: The family is the first institution created by God. The family is the foundation of society. God created human beings in His own image. “Then God said, ‘Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness’… So God created man in His own image; He created him in the image of God; He created them male and female” (Genesis 1:26-27).{{more}} “Then the Lord God formed man of dust from the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living being” (Genesis 2:7). God created people so as to need and find fulfillment in human companionship. “The Lord God said, ‘It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him” (Genesis 2:18).

The family is a social institution that binds two or more individuals into a primary group to the extent that the members of the group are related to one another on the basis of blood relationships, affinity or some other symbolic network of association. It is an essential pillar upon which all societies are built and with such a character, has transcended time and space.

It was God who created the first marriage and He designed marriage as a lifelong covenant between one man and one woman. According to Mark 10:6-9, we are told “But from the beginning of the creation, God ‘made them male and female. For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’; so then they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.”

Marriage is the creation of a new family unit, and God told the man and the woman be fruitful and multiply. Marriage is meant to be an intimate lifelong union and it is the only place for sexual expression. Sexual union is designed by God as an expression of the marriage covenant.

Marriage is a blessing from God, but because of sin, God’s design for marriage has been twisted in countless ways. The family is deteriorating so rapidly all over the world. In this century we have witnessed remarkable changes in family structures and dynamics: smaller household sizes, a further shift from extended to nuclear families, single parent households, a decrease in nuptials and an increase in separation or divorce, the appearance of new forms of unions such as unmarried cohabitation and living-apart-together, changing gender and intergenerational relations.

Family life today is under siege. Families are beset by a crisis in roles, absenteeism of parents, a breakdown of authority, preoccupation with things, inadequate time together, financial pressures, suicide, divorce, domestic abuse, incest, HIV/AIDS pandemic, and a host of other problems.

The Bible teaches that the institution of family is of divine origin and purpose. The Bible also provides guidelines for good relations within the family. A commitment to the Bible’s teachings and principles provides today’s best hope for the recovery of family life.

For many of us, raising a family in this society has become more a misery than a ministry. Let me explain, you see, some parents are struggling right now because they are not getting along with one of their children. Brother is against sister; Son against Father; and Mother against daughter. The simple words “good morning” somehow turns into an argument. Some parents go to bed worried; it is a misery, not a ministry because they do not know where their kids are or what they are up too.

The question of the hour is how do we strengthen the family? The only solution for this monumental task is found in the Bible. “Psalm 127:1 Except the LORD build the house, they labour in vain that build it”. You see, before you can strengthen something or somebody, you have to first find out their weakness. The weaknesses that are plaguing our families today and ultimately affect our society, begin in the home. How many parents today will take the time out to send their children out to Sunday school and to church? There’s always a long list of excuses, but every ‘bun cup’ knock, as the saying goes, they are there.

You know there’s an old adage that “there’s no place like home” and “home is where the heart is”. Lovely, isn’t it? However, truth be told, home has become one of the least desired places to be. Husbands don’t want to be there; wives are being abused mentally, emotionally and physically and don’t want to live there and children who can’t have their way, run away from there and the latest trend is suicide.

What has happened to family commitment, you know the assurance that this family will stay together, value each other, for a lifetime, no matter what. Whatever happened to the time when if we faced problems we’ll face them together?

Whatever happened to community? You know when you did something wrong the neighbour would whop you, and then tell your grand daddy and he would whop you too and you better don’t complain to mommy, cause she would give you a whopping as well. There is a total deterioration in morals and values. You sometimes wonder who’s the child and who’s the adult; you can hardly tell the difference these days.

How can the family be revived? The answer can be summed up in a few words, “Except the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it”. Except JEHOVAH GOD build, rebuild, establish, cause to continue, all of our efforts will be in vain. Simply put, when it comes to the family, stop trying to do it yourself. Some things require professional attention.

If you want to know how to strengthen the family in today’s society, begin by committing your life to God, your marriage, and your children. You may not be able to change them, but God can. Stop trying to do it yourself. Stop trying to do it in your own strength. We have to get back to that place with God. We have to turn our hearts back to God. Allow God to build your house (family). For if God don’t help us, no one else can.

Members of Haynes House
Belair New Testament Chuch of God