Verbal abuse can lead to physical, other abuse

15.APR.11

Editor: It is commendable that this month has been designated Child Abuse and Prevention Month.

It must be borne in mind that there are many abuses that society accepts as norm. Many times it is only sexual and physical abuse that are talked about or reported. But there are verbal, emotional, social and other abuses.{{more}}

Space and time will not permit me to elaborate on any one form effectively. However, I would like to mention verbal abuse which is carried out by a vast majority of parents. Many persons are abusers, and they are not conscious of this.

The problem of child of abuse is no easy fix, for it is deep-rooted in generations. Many grew up in a home where they were verbally abused, that is, they were called ill names, and negative things were said to them and about them. So they then acted the very same way without consciously realizing that they were abusing their children. Their children in turn become abusers, so the cycle continues.

Many parents have contributed to verbal abuse in the home by saying negative things of their spouses in front of their children. For some men to show their manhood, they try to control their partner by being verbally abusive. For them, I am the man, so what I say goes, and they would curse or in some cases fight to show their headship. When this occurs, it paints a negative picture for their children who will one day grow up thinking that this is the norm. So the boy tries to control his woman by abuse and the girl accepts the insults, curse and negative words as a norm.

Many parents, I suppose, have not realized the negative effect they can have on their children when they call them ill names. Sometimes when the child’s father has not lived up to his commitment, then that mother takes it out on the poor innocent child. Sometimes that child is told that you will be like your worthless father, or that you will end up in jail, or for the girls, sometimes mothers would refer to them as whores and bad girls. These words, many may not realize, are built into the child’s system, and when it is referred to frequently, it makes the child feel like that which was said to him or her.

No wonder we have so many young people committing crimes, because those children were verbally abused, and they grow up with poor self

esteem. So to be accepted and recognized, they end up in gangs, on drugs, and committing crimes. For some, they even end up being prostitutes, and they themselves become abusers of a different kind.

It is time that as a nation we worked on our homes. Let us build strong homes where love, acceptance, kind words and Christ are present. When as adults we continue to pull down and slander each other, that also is verbal abuse, which has a negative effect on our children. Parents, you are called upon to be a good role models to your children. Let us control our anger and the words we say to our children. It is time to stop the abuse. It is not too late, for verbal abuse can lead to physical and other forms of abuse.

Kennard King