A startling revelation, by a young Vincentian doctor

Tue, Sept 7, 2010

Editor: Recently, I attended a women’s workshop focusing on the church’s response to AIDS discrimination, stigmatization etc. The different sessions were very enlightening. However, in his presentation, a young, promising male Vincentian doctor, made a startling revelation, and this was by the way. This had always been a subject of concern to me and caused me to express some concerns publicly.{{more}}

The doctor revealed that there is a trend emerging in SVG where some persons take their elderly males for medical care and attention at hospital and after recovery leave them there for much longer for the State to care for. This for sure causes different problems for the State in itself, which I will not focus on. My focus is, however, that we as Vincentians must pay attention to this trend. Also, I imagine that this happens to even those who have done their best for loved ones, and who ultimately fight for their remaining material possession.

Appalled at treatment meted out to some elderly

There are different reasons why some elderly persons end up this way. Sometimes, I am appalled at the treatment meted out to some elderly persons. I was raised by a single mother who placed great emphasis on care of the elderly. She demonstrated that by taking care of both her elderly parents. I did the same and took proper care of her until her demise. I am not going to engage in a gender issue here. However, I want to highlight that it is mainly women who are care givers. Male caregivers are in the minority. I do not foresee a change in trend in the near future.

I do not want to say here that this is male marginalization. I dare say that countless men do spend time taking care and looking after the needs of their women folk. However, I venture to say also that countless men do spend their time mistreating their women folk and this may have repercussions on their elderly care by loved ones. I have seen many men being neglected otherwise by those who are close to them, women included.

From my experience, I know of men who spend considerable time doing things like: bullying women for what was bequeathed to them; and for what they have worked for earnestly; making strife between siblings; physically fighting their parents and siblings; making mischief between friends, coworkers, church members, and residents in communities. Also some males spend time and pledge substantial amount of resources fighting to see certain siblings beg their bread. (No weapon formed ….) Some of them spend much time recruiting private journalist including brothers and wives, to inquire about others private business. Others spend time plotting to see some fall on their faces to gloat over. The list can go on. In the meantime no development and planning for their future years is taking place. Meanwhile, many women are engaging in the practice of taking care of their children, the elderly ones and other business.

I was very heartened by this young doctor’s statement that he will ensure that he treats his children well so that they can in turn reciprocate. Things do not always work as planned but at least it is worth a try. It is not becoming for some men: not to support their children; keeping them malice and even their grandchildren, (if they have), not to physically box down their adult female children to the ground. Also, not to beat and ill treat women including their mothers and wives. Some of them must stop being strife makers, haters and private journalists. Some must cease aligning themselves with persons in high position to use them to stave off the full force of the law when they commit crimes.

I encourage all of us in SVG to do things that can uplift and edify ourselves, our fellowmen and nation. Let us all be productive citizens that we do not burden the State and others. Let us practice kindness, care and love so that the fever can spread and filter down. Let us promote peace and harmony at all fronts. I believe what the good book says, “what we sow we will reap.” Reaping is not instant and I assume that some of the elderly ones who are abandoned today are reaping what they sow. Let us practice to treasure and forgive those who are in our midst even though sometimes we have to let them go for our own sanity. Soon we too may become elderly and would like to be treated kindly. Let us pray and break this vicious cycle. I also want to urge the young doctor to continue to spread this message using all the resources at his disposal. He has the right attitude to do so.

L.B. Williams (Mrs.)