I am Imran and I am in love with a woman above my age. She is 36 and I am 33 and we both staying in Johannesburg but we came from different countries. I am from Malawi and she is from Zimbabwe.
We met in 2013 and we have been doing great on that time. I was the only person working and after 2015 she started working and staying far away from me. We have been fighting a lot b’coz of no trust on us. I love her so much and I introduced her to my parents through networks as we are far from them. But her parents know me very well as they visit south Africa mostly.
My question is. She does’nt want to move to my place since I asked her to move from 3 years ago. We are staying 4 kms apart and when I asked her to move to my room she tells me lot of stories. What can I do to bring her closer to me? Or why doesn’t she want to move to my place? Can you advise me dear Rosie?
You have a very interesting dynamic happening here. An older woman, different cultures and living apart for a while – just to mention a few differences. Yet you can’t fight who you love.
Now that you are in the same place the conflict has heightened even more and it’s difficult to get together. It feels however that there is a serious communication issue happening between both of you. When someone starts avoiding you or even refusing to meet family members, compromising about living arrangements etc. you have to ask what is the real deal about the push back you’ve been getting?
I think you may have to be very direct and ask your partner what’s going on? Do you want us to build a life together? Is there something wrong that you feel you can’t share with me? Ask the hard questions and more importantly, be prepared to hear the “real” answers.
Remember, to have a long lasting relationship you have to do the work and be honest with each other. I truly wish you both the best.
Send questions to Rosie at: firstname.lastname@example.org or PO Box 152, Kingstown,St Vincent & the Grenadines