High expectations: what should I do?

Hey Rosie 

Thank you yet again for the sound advice that you have always provided to me. Anyway, yet again I have found myself in a confusing situation and I desperately need your help. Recently, I met a young man who is 12 years my senior, through a male co-worker; they are childhood friends. So far, we have gone out on several occasions in the company of this mutual person. I must admit that this individual possesses admirable qualities; not only is he handsome with an athletic physique, but he is outgoing, very intelligent and a devout Christian. However, the problem is that I have been told, multiple times, by several trustworthy people, that I should abandon my feelings and pursuits for him. The reason behind such discouraging sentiments is because it’s well-known that his mother is very stern and critical about the life choices her son makes, especially whom he builds a relationship with. According to those who know his mother, her ideals are too high for any decent and  reasonable young lady to meet. I don’t know what to do; we have so much potential.

Hello my friend,

Thank you for checking in on a regular basis; hopefully I can be of some sort of help again.

Ok, it’s great that you are attracted to Mister older, physically fit, intelligent, handsome and God-fearing; but what jumps out at me is that he’s 12 years older than you and his Mama allegedly plays a huge role in his relationships?  Oh, oh! That is a HUGE red flag! No woman wants to always be in the shadow of her boyfriend’s mom; how annoying is that?

Now, two things: this information is hearsay; you don’t know if that is a fact. Secondly, is this young man worth investigating more on a one-to-one basis?  Sometimes people put in their two cents because they could be jealous of the chemistry they are witnessing between the both of you. So, be very cognizant of that as well.

The bottom line is, nothing ventured, nothing gained.  You are going to have to be make this call yourself.  Are you going to investigate some more to see if the rumours are true? Or are you throwing in the towel because it’s too much for you?  Your call! I wish you the best in your decision.

Rosie