Hey Rosie,

I need your help. I just found out that I am pregnant and I am in my final year of high school. I don’t get along with my mother at all and I know she is going to say that she knew that this was going to happen. My boyfriend is 19 and says he is willing to stick with me if I have an abortion, plus give me the money as well. I don’t know what to do Rosie. I don’t want to abort the baby, but I don’t want to lose my boyfriend and I really don’t want to tell my mother. I feel like ending it!{{more}}

Help Me Please!

Dear Help Me Please,

Well let’s take a very deep breath! We can’t be talking about ending it because that is NEVER the answer. You are at a major crossroads at the moment, but that doesn’t mean that you will not make it out of the turbulent waters. However, you have to face the music and have a plan of action in order to do so.

So, you were practising unprotected sex, which isn’t a smart thing and going forward, can we stop that? You now have to look out for yourself and possibly another life (depending on your decision to keep the baby). You also can’t stick your head in the sand because you will be afraid to tell your mother; this is something that will not go away like a cold; this is a life-changing event. Then your decision to keep this child is entirely your choice, not your boyfriend’s. He can’t tell you what to do with your body.

Having said that, what is a teenager, in high school, without a diploma to do? Well, first you have to become focused and finish school; that is very important. You need an educational base; without it you don’t have much of a leg to stand on. You will also have to make sure that you take care of yourself health wise and maybe seek some counselling so you can vent and get some of your anxieties off your chest. Your boyfriend, hopefully, will step up to the plate and assist you financially (I know what he said), but there are decent men out there, so have a reasonable conversation with him about this child’s future.

Then finally, hat in hand and with a bit of humble pie, you WILL have to speak to your mother. Fully brace yourself that she will be disappointed, may yell and say unpleasant things, but after the dust settles I pray that you will both have a truce and a working relationship to get you stabilized.

Again, whatever you decide is totally your choice. You have to be smarter going forward not to repeat history. You will make it; I am really pulling for you.

Rosie