I am losing my mind and feel like running away

Hey Rosie,

I hate my life right now so badly.

First of all, my mom doesn’t trust me so she’s always on my case; then my dad is always on my case too. I’m losing my mind and I can hardly concentrate in class because of what is going on at home.

Then I met a boy I like, but I’m afraid to let him into my life, because I know my parents are going to react to a point that I can’t handle.{{more}} Sometimes I just feel like running away or committing suicide, just to free myself from this. I need your advice badly.

Losing my mind

Dear Losing My Mind,

I want to tell you quickly that running away or trying to kill yourself is NOT AN OPTION! No ma’am, it’s not! Welcome to the club of living with overprotective parents; believe me you are not the only young person going through this drama.

When I tell you I speak from experience, I do. I can tell you I can remember being given the 3rd, 4th and 5th degree about: “Who are you talking to?” “Who is going to be there?” “What is your friend’s name?” “No you aren’t going to any night party!” “Get off the phone!” – does this sound vaguely familiar? If it is, you are not alone; again I’m telling you it’s what it is and fighting against the tide will not help your case. I will also suggest that you fall back a bit and let them see that you can be mature and respectful of their wishes. Now, having said all that, let me address your parents.

Good Lord, why do we, as parents, forget that as we try to save the butterfly, we, in our quest to do so smother them at the same time? How are we teaching our children real life decision making skills if you are going to micro-manage every step in their lives? This isn’t right, no it isn’t. Also are you so far removed from your days of being a teenager that you’ve forgotten what it was like not to be even heard? This, too, is a mistake. We have to come to a happy medium, one where the child can be respectful and understand the rules of the home, yet not be oppressed and scared that they will never approach you about what is going on in their lives.

So, my young friend, I would ask you to find an advocate who can help bridge that gap between you and your parents. Someone like an older trustworthy cousin, teacher, member of the church etc, who you can talk to, and help bridge that gap between you and your parents. Also to the parents, stop squeezing and pushing like this. I do agree in boundaries and respect; however, we can go overboard in flexing our muscles. So, let’s both find a happy medium. Keep the faith, young one, because at the end of the day, they are trying in their way to protect you.

Rosie

Send questions to Rosie at: heyrosie24@yahoo.com or P.O Box 152, Kingstown, St. Vincent & the Grenadines.