What else should I do to prove my love?

Hey Rosie,

For the past couple months, my boyfriend has been giving me some trouble. Well, first let me start by saying that I love this guy with all my heart.

I never loved my exes the way I love him, but it seems like he doesn’t understand. Recently my boyfriend and I have been getting into a lot of arguments, but not having any fights.{{more}} Sometimes, when he tries calling my phone and doesn’t get on, he will accuse me by saying I have another man, and when I am at his home, I can’t answer my phone.

I already told him that if he doesn’t get on to me, it is because I am doing something and I don’t have the phone around me, because I have a child to deal with. He loves me a lot, because he proves it by kissing me in front of his exes and does a lot for me. I prove my love to him by meeting him everywhere he calls me to go, and I never refuse him in anything. Rosie, he’s my everything. I can’t give him up. What else should I do?

Can’t give up

Dear Can’t Give Up,

This is not a healthy relationship. I totally hear you in regard to loving your boyfriend, but there is an unhealthy attachment and co-dependency going on here. In other words, there is a major lack of trust between both of you.

You shouldn’t have to explain your every movement throughout the day and run to pick up the phone if you are taking care of your child. Any reasonable person would understand that every minute of the day doesn’t revolve around them. Now in terms of you saying that he loves you a lot and proves it all the time by kissing you in front of his exes is really a very childish move on his part, and in a way it feels as though, he is also trying to make the onlookers jealous for some reason. I could be wrong, but that is how it feels to me.

Then, I am troubled by your willingness to never refuse him – these are your words. This is also not good, because the one instance you can’t give him all of your attention and time, he could then become very angry and lash out at you, which he has already done. My question to you is, why are you loving this man more than you love yourself?

You are putting so much energy and time into him and yet it’s still not making either of you very happy and content. Do you think that you have the strength to say let’s take a break for a moment, see what is and isn’t working in this relationship? Would you seek some counseling? I really do think you both are not the best for each other at this time. Sometimes love isn’t enough. There are a lot of couples who think that this type of relationship is normal, but I am here to say it isn’t. Try to work on dealing with these issues before they take on a life of its own. Good luck to you being independent and a clear thinker.

Rosie

Send questions to Rosie at: heyrosie24@yahoo.com or P.O Box 152, Kingstown, St. Vincent & the Grenadines.