Hey Rosie,

I am living with a 23-year-old young boy for two years now. We share a child together. My child is now 6 months old.

Since I got my child, this guy has changed completely. He spends most of his time on his PC on social networks and walking up and down the streets with his friends who I would call little boys.{{more}} He does take care of his son in what ever way he can, but he doesn’t spend time with him.

Rosie, this guy just keeps calling women, spending hours on the phone and chatting to them on msn, telling these girls that he is single, and his baby mother passes by sometimes to bring the child (which is me). I am tired of him talking to all different kind of girls.

Any time I talk about it, he says that I talk too much and they are just his friends, but I know better than that. I’m tired of this stupidness. Instead of spending time with his son, he would rather spend it doing things that are not necessary. I don’t even care about me. The only thing that matters to me right now is my son and the fact that it’s our son, and he doesn’t spend any time with him.

I have already told him that it is over between us, but we are still living together. I don’t do anything for him. I am just there because of my son. I really need your advice on what to do.

Need help please

Dear Need help please,

Let me start with the last part of this letter first. Staying with a man who is disrespecting you and has no interest in spending time with his son, because you THINK it’s the right thing for your son is a HUGE mistake! That is not a good decision and your plan should really be about breaking loose from this set up.

Now, reading your letter, you called your son’s father a “boy” that speaks volumes! That lets me know that you are mentally done or at least quite close to it. What are you going to do for you and your peace of mind? Sticking in a loveless, unfulfilling and deceptive relationship is not doing you any good and it will not be good for your son either.

You are an intelligent young lady. You know these games with all these other women, hitting the streets with the fellas and most of all denying you and ignoring your son is not what both of you deserve. So it’s time for you to make your choices: stay and be miserable or fight for the relationship (but that’s only if he wants to honestly work on it) or finally, just walk away. Whichever, it has to work for your son’s well being. No child should see his parents bickering and fighting, it kills their self esteem as they grow. You should also start thinking about ways to better yourself; school, a better job, a place to live, counseling.

Look, you CAN do this. You can, stop making excuses for accepting this nonsense. Please do not keep your son away from his father, make every effort to forge that relationship between them. It will take some doing, but it’s the right thing to do. You however deserve the very best and this is far from it! I wish you a clear plan, a more fulfilling life and much success raising your son.

Rosie

Send questions to Rosie at: heyrosie24@yahoo.com or P.O Box 152,

Kingstown, St. Vincent & the Grenadines.